Whole 30 in the books!

WE DID IT! 

We finished the Whole 30 although we are basically continuing it past the 30 day mark. We are trying to decide what we will continue to omit and what we will reintroduce back into our meals. What did we think overall? We loved it. We felt great. We felt lighter and less bloated. Heads were clearer. We didn't drag mid day. I learned how to cook more vegetables than I ever have. 

For me, it went way beyond the physical. Being able to think clearly while I forced myself to sit down, research recipes and meal plan was key. Going through the motions and being successful with doing what I had considered "hard" before was a catalyst for moving toward more hard things that I usually avoid that are not related to food. 

In the recent years, two areas of my life had grown out of control. Funny, huh, for someone who is very systematic and in control of so many things? My weight/nutrition/body care and finances went off the rails. Once it went so far off, I sort of "piecemealed" it back together here and there but felt so overwhelmed that I could not get a full grasp. I felt like within both of those areas, I lived by sticking a band-aid here and there on problem areas to get me by.

Whole 30 gave me stamina and momentum. I've already taken the past few months and started to really look at spending. I need to see where we actually spent. My budget that I made has been in the file box from the moment I completed it. Each month, I swear I'll use the envelope system (Dave Ramsey style) because it will FORCE me to be more conscientious. Each month goes by and I swear that I'll do it the next month. Another band-aid or two and another month goes by, and then another, and then another. Now we are looking at spending (what we actually spend) in order to modify the budget.

One of the culprits for money loss was harmless stops here and there for a coffee (and then a spontaneous pastry to go with it because it's 2pm and well.....- see this connection?) and dinners out because we had slacked in meal planning or I was tired from a later night at work.

Look at all these transactions:

So, all these numbers are debits for restaurants and coffee shops. Then I found a few more and added them to get these numbers:

WOAH! That's a lot more spending than I expected. I complained about not having money to get some things we needed without realizing where money was leaking from the account. Because most meals were not as memorable or special, I wish we had eat a sandwich at home and stuck that amount in savings! 

Then, I looked at how much I had spent since starting Whole 30. I had gone to a few restaurants with the majority being due to work-related reasons (therapy session was lunch, co-worker birthday lunch, lunch on the road between clients). Luba and I had only had 1 meal out together in the 30 day span. I haven't missed restaurants like I imagined I would. I didn't need all those coffees in the afternoons. It was a reminder of how needlessly we had been spending the money and how easy it is to let the budget go out of control!

Because we meal-planned, we had food left over for breakfast ( veggies thrown in or covered with eggs) and lunches. Dinners were automatically lunch the next day. We practiced more portion control. I made the lunches before we sat down to each the dinner to ensure we didn't eat "seconds" just because the food was there. 

Who knew a meal plan would change so much, and so much beyond eating habits and nutrition? It's also made me think of how much we think we need across a lot of categories or areas, and then how much we would actually miss it if it were gone? We hang on to so much that is not beneficial for us or good for us. 

If you are considering trying it, bet on yourself and do it. You can if you want to. "It's hard" is an excuse. "I can't live without ____" is an excuse or poor reason. Yes, you can live without wine, and cheese, and rice, and creamer, and all the other stuff you think you need. If you do, I'll send you my favorite recipes and I'll be your biggest cheerleader.

Eat well,

Danielle 

Whole 30 update- a "whole" transformation!

Several of you have asked me how Whole30 is or you are contemplating starting one soon so you ask for tips. I decided to write and give the low down plus the extra, non-physical changes it has initiated. This is a journey, not a different eating plan only.

First of all, we are on a budget so I was initially scared to do this because of the need to shop several places to find less-used items for me like coconut aminos, red boat fish sauce, and ghee. Plus, they prefer organic meat and produce when possible. It would blow the budget, so I thought. Was that an excuse? Did I mention our budget is tight? It’s as tight as a …. Okay, no time for inappropriate similes.

I’m finding that we don’t spend that much more. We may break even or spend less. Ain’t nobody got time to compute that for accuracy! Previously, we shopped all over the store and down the aisles and put things in our cart that were not on the list. We bought veggies in hopes of eating them but wasted much of it because we found easier things to cook. I didn’t grow up eating vegetables so I had no idea how to cook them. We now eat what we buy. We find a creative way to use what’s left. I just never thought of using that leftover butternut squash for breakfast in a hash. I’m learning to just THROW IT ALL IN! Anything goes when you throw a runny egg over it! We shopped differently. We roll our cart (or "buggy") around the perimeters of the grocery store hitting the produce, meat and eggs. We go down the aisle only if we need coconut milk. I was so giddy to see that we had turned into "those people" at the grocery store. You know the ones, the ones that have ALL healthy stuff at the register? How do those people survive with no cereal, sweets or yogurt? 

The plan has not been hard. Maybe it’s because I read the Whole30 website before joining and they have great points when they say: “It's not hard. Battling cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Drinking your coffee black is not hard.” It’s true.

I’ve looked at this eating plan a whole different way from a biblical standpoint which I touched on in this last post you can read here. I now think of this when I read labels. What am I putting into my body (a temple)? Is it necessary? If I can buy chicken stock with few ingredients, then why would I buy this one?

What IS all that stuff with all those syllables? It was only $0.69 so I know so many on a budget and low income families are using this due to necessity. That’s a blog post for another day. I will spend the extra $1 to get a better option. Reading the labels is essential to avoid sugar, which let me tell you, is in everything! Luba and I may spend 10 minutes reading each and every bacon package looking for one with no sugar (and often leave the store bacon-less and sad). What I’ve also learned is to, again, use all that I have. We buy a rotisserie chicken once a week so I make broth with the carcass bone after Luba has finished it off (he & my mom could be in a show-down on who can clean that bone the best). It’s FREE! I just cut up celery and onion and heavily salt and pepper and store it in a mason jar in the fridge. You can do so much for minimal cost if you just spend the time. 

Time? Oh that’s funny. I thought I had none. When you make a decision, you find it. I’m not saying it’s easy! Solicit your husband to help. He eats it right? Ask your kids to help - they can learn healthy habits early! It's a win-win. It helps me so much that Luba is committed to this with me. Because it’s easier for me to follow recipes, then he preps when he can. If I have a late night (my job makes this trickier because I may get home at 7:30-8pm), Luba will chop veggies, get out all the ingredients so I can rush in and start, and he cleans up to share the load when I cook something complicated and messy. He’ll also make sure dishes are clean and put away to give me maximum space for what often feels like an experiment rather than a recipe. He’ll peel sweet potatoes at night and I wake up and make the hash while he showers. We meal plan and prep as much as possible on the weekend and buy most of the week. We’re okay with quick stops to pick up odds and ends to prevent wasting food (& money). Teamwork is good, but good planners and efficient time users can do this solo – man or woman! Chop while you enjoy your glass of wine LaCroix. LaCroix will save your life. Stock up on different flavors and indulge.

look at this guy shredding sweet potatoes for our hash at 6:45am

sidenote: he really is a gem, isn't he?

This is our usual breakfast: hash of some kind with sausage or bacon, 

avocado and runny eggs

What do we cook? Thank God for social media. I am on Instagram and follow a few people that post easy recipes. Most of what we have tried have come from Instagram posts which look easy and good so I follow them to their website or use the recipe they’ve posted in a comment. Here are some favorites so far and where you can find them:

sweet potato soup by @kirsten.redding

 jalapeno pomegranate roast by @whole30recipes

stuffed sweet acorn squash by @whole9life 

(I didn't even know acorn squashes existed)

We have not been out to eat in almost 2 weeks. We did go out prior to Whole30 for a special occasion. WE ARE PROUD! We are on day 16! WE ARE DOING IT! I can't believe I have been 16 days without cheese (& wine)!!! I put cheese on everything, and I've hardly noticed I cut it out. When it's an absolute that you follow, you aren't clouded by struggle or temptation as much (I think). Sometimes, choices actually limit us.

My body is changing too – not sure about weight and composition. I’m not counting that. I have struggled with low blood sugar for years. If you know me well, you know that I will pass out cold if I miss snacks (have some chin scars to prove that). The meal plan recommends 3 meals per day with an extra meal after working out. I had to plan for a compliant snack because of my issues. I have found that, without realizing, I have gone down to no snacks. I just don’t get hungry. I don’t feel that drop around 2pm like before. I will snack in the evening if I work late so that I’m not hangry and ravenous when I come home to cook – otherwise, I may make some bad decisions or take some shortcuts. I’m also not that hungry when I am hungry, and I eat less overall.

I didn’t realize this journey would start to transform more than nutrition and physical well-being. It’s seeped into emotional health as well. I feel clearer and I have more time to think and process as I chop, saute, stir, and roast. There are no shortcuts so my time is not diverted a thousand different directions making a quick meal or rushing. I feel like so many things are compartmentalized in vessels on an emotional bookshelf deep inside the caverns of my soul. I’m finding that I can’t take these vessel off and put things in and close them up and place them back on the shelves as easily. I spend more time with the vessel open letting issues, memories, thoughts seep out or even pour out all over the floor. I allow the emotion to settle and be visible and acknowledged. I’ve wrestled with processing where I am now in life versus where I thought I should or would be (remember that tight budget?). I’ve realized that the right word is grief. I’m grieving some dreams I had for myself and plans that I prepared for that clearly God didn’t have for me. I’m reading a book recommended by April Diaz, and I’m loving it. 

Grief to me, before, was something that you felt when a loved one passed away, but it relates to so much more. I’m choosing to work through this so I can be ready for new dreams and better dreams and opportunities. It doesn't mean that I would trade anything about how life is now. How do we get stuck so early thinking WE know how our lives should and will turn out? We decide this and then place people and things in like pawns. We look around and question when something else has our blueprint. We are made for so much more beyond our dreams. How could I not catch that I had “patched” so much with food, time at restaurants distracted, and getting a physical high from certain foods? All of the part of us are so intricately interwoven.

If you are thinking of doing this Whole30 thing, I encourage you to take the plunge. Spend time prepping so you have a successful start to build momentum and then go for it!! We are so happy that we did it. I also highly encourage you if the following come to mind when you think of it: I don't eat vegetables, It's too hard, I don't have time, I can't live without cheese. Also beware, you may find that the journey becomes more than preparing meals and eating. 

Love,

Danielle 

Kindness (including a bit about this Whole 30 business)

This morning, I read the article about the hurried mother who waited impatiently in line at Target. Her moments were transformed by watching a young man patiently and kindly help the older woman in front of her. You can read more about that story here. I appreciated so much about this story such as the woman’s recognition of the following: her impatience and role as the “learner,” kindness in the moment, and the character of this young man. Although she was hurried, she used this opportunity and she sought out the manger to share what she had seen. She acted. So many of us “miss” kindness in action because we are looking elsewhere. Others of us see it and often appreciate it, but we move on through our day without acknowledging it to others. We fail to act. 

I have always been the biggest fan of the random acts of kindness movements. It never ever gets old no matter which on which side I find myself. I was reminded recently as I stood in line at Starbucks and the man in front of me paid for my drink. He hurried away to the barista section before I could say thank you. I continued the gesture by paying for the person behind me. Now, it didn’t play out the way I expected. As we stood next to each other, the atmosphere grew awkward. There was no sign of appreciation or “thanks!” he just said “well, that changes things.” I’m not sure what that meant and he ordered his drink. We often misread the actions of others so I dare not call him unappreciative at all. I wondered if this was his first time to be the recipient of random kindness, kindness from a stranger he would never see again. Did he not know how to respond? I walked to the barista area to wait for my coffee and I thanked the man who bought mine. We chatted for a few moments and he quietly said, "When God blesses you with money, you share it with others.” Apparently, he starts this "pay it forward" at Starbucks frequently. As we were chatting, the guy behind me rushed past us and out the door, making no eye contact.

It made me think of how good I felt for more than the rest of the day. One simple gesture changed my day and I immediately looked for ways to pay it forward throughout the day. I wanted everyone to feel as elated as I, and how easy that is to do with minimal time and money. It can feel awkward, I guess, to be the recipient. Through the years, I have learned to accept kindness with grace and appreciation. Sure I can pay for my own coffee. I can open my own door. I can carry my own bags to the car. It’s not about the action itself. It’s about what’s in between – the connection, taking a baton of kindness to pass on, allowing another to follow through with a hunch or a whispering he or she feels, connecting with others, and/or allowing people to just simple give back to this world, universe, God, whatever they or you want to call it.

Kindness has been researched. I was reading through articles on this website (I encourage you to visit it!). A few effects of kindness are:

• It reduces effects of stress
• We feel better when we help others
• Acts of kindness leads others to do acts of kindness
• Our brains are wired to be benevolent
• It’s a win-win-win: we feel better, recipients feel better, and by-standers/witness feel better
• We can help children develop empathy and kindness can be taught (there are even pilot programs for schools)

I’ve always considered myself to be a kind person. I married the kindest person I have ever met in my life. As kind as I try to be to and with others, I’ve noticed that I don’t offer that kindness to myself. I know some of you are just like that. I work in a job where I care for others and one that is emotionally taxing every single day. It doesn’t  I don’t leave enough time for me to care as much for myself as I do clients. I get home late and I fill my body with what’s quick. I am more of a “foodie” so I love trying new foods but I overdo it. I ignore signals from my own body to stop and eat or to simply stop eating. I don’t exercise. I use my “kindness” and my job (which is also my mission) as an excuse to neglect the most important person, me.

To start this year off after the holidays, I made a vow to prioritize myself. I started the Whole 30 program 3 days ago. Today I am on day 4. I chose to start this particular program for the following reasons:

1. It includes meat, vegetables, fruit and nuts. Dairy, grains and sugar are not allowed. By the way, sugar is in dang near everything! Go ahead and look at that unsuspecting label. I’m allergic to cow’s milk yet I indulge in cheese and milk products daily. I knowingly and unknowingly consume sugar because “well, it’s in everything. How can you avoid it?”  I’m learning to create meal plans that are kind to my body right now. I am forced to learn how to cook and enjoy vegetables. I read labels and choose products that are better for my body.
2. I rely on comfort foods. I am most definitely an emotional eater. I need to start to learn in these 30 days to turn to other things for comfort which may depend on the moment or circumstance- scripture, my husband, the treadmill, a walk outside, a break, a quiet moment with a piece of fruit, whatever is healthy. I cannot fill empty places with chocolate, pasta, or “the newest food” on the foodie trail.
3. I need and want to be healthy. No surprise my cholesterol is high but overall I’m considered healthy (healthy with a few pounds to spare to put me back in the right section of the BMI chart). I want to stay healthy. If I do get sick, I want to be the healthiest version to fight it. I have only 1 body and let's face it, I'm getting older. 
4. I fear failure. I multi-task. I plan well. I’m a finisher but I ave learned that I only start what I know I'll finish.  My success is achieved by my lack of failures and not by trudging through and restarting after failure. This endeavor scared me because it’s so big for me. I planned to fail; therefore, I had to plan to finish. I told myself that if I fail, then it wouldn’t be the end of the world and I won’t beat myself up, BUT I cannot plan for that “if.” I had to shift to “when,” “when I finish.”
5. It’s biblical. It was ingrained in us as children in the church, “your body is a temple,” but really, I only remember this in the context for advocating for abstinence. As a church, we should expand beyond that to include all aspects of self-care. It most definitely applies to our diet and nutrition. I’m remind myself of this and highlighting and posting near my food diary the following verses: Ephesians 5:29, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 and 10:31, and Romans 10:31.

My husband is doing this Whole 30 program with me. We are figuring it out together and it has been much easier than expected (although still hard sometimes). This weekend, I have had the flu and have been sicker than I have in a long, long time. Yesterday when I woke up, I only wanted pho which is not compliant with the program. I recognized this as most likely a “comfort” and I would allow myself grace should I fall off the wagon when ill (for good reason?) but I vowed to fight that urge for hours and then reassess. I stumbled into the kitchen to find the chicken broth I had made a few nights before on a whim (what else do you do with the rotisserie chicken carcass to get your money’s worth?). I filled it with celery and carrots from the fridge (which I normally would have never had on hand). It filled the spot and immediately I felt better. The urge to have pho was gone. We finished the rest of the day compliant. It felt like the biggest win because I was able to move past it – the psychological battles are the worst. Repeat that whole morning this morning when I woke up feeling the same way, but again, I made it!

This physical and dietary journey is teaching me so much spiritually and mentally. I’m learning so much about my body already. I'm learning kindness in a whole new way. 

As we continue on in 2016, to whom do you need to show kindness? Those unlike you? Your family? Yourself? You can get great ideas on the website mentioned above at this link.  

Do something everyday, will you? Even just acknowledge kindness. Like the woman in the article above, tell a supervisor when you spot kindness in employees. As we say in the ABA world in terms of increasing behavior, "you get more of what you attend to." Let's seek it out and acknowledge it in our children, employees, family members, everyone! It reminds me of this quote by Thomas S. Monson: "When we treat people merely as they are, they will remain as they are. When we treat them as if they were what they should be, they will become what they should be."I would love to see my newsfeed full of more of these articles and stories than the tragedy, bigotry and negativity that often fuels posts. 

We are all catalysts for change and making a better "us," and I am pretty sure it starts with kindness. Be the change you want to see in the world (Gandhi). No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted (Aesop). 

Danielle