Recently, I watched a TED talk by Chimamanda Adichie on the danger of a
single story. If you are breathing, I highly recommend you watch it HERE, now.
It is one of those rare “things” that have shaped my outlook on a plethora of subjects.
She speaks of Africa, but it can be related to most anything. For me, I related
it to being Southern.
Go ahead, what comes to mind when you think of the “South?”
Maybe Mississippi in general?
Some I’ve heard that are more negative:
- Illiterate / dumb / uneducated
- Closed minded
- Religious
- Conservative (Straight Republican ticket…who needs to even read up or vote apart from that?!?!)
- Homophobic
- Racist
- Blue collar
- Slow talker
- NASCAR lover
- Gun toting
- Overweight / missing teeth / barefoot
- Country music lover
- Always pregnant--sometimes caught with beer or cigarette in hand
Now when I hear someone “non”Southern say these things with
me at the table, my hospitality comes out full force and I stifle the “Let me
take you out back and introduce you to Mississippi” comment that is circling
right on the tip of my tongue. My brain recites, “Keep your mouth closed, teeth
together, and smile sweetly.”
Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but one should
dare NOT to look at a Southern person through a single story
lens.
I grew up in Mississippi [and college next door in Alabama]
until leaving for CA in 2001 in my 20s. I’ve loved CA and appreciate it for
what it is. If I could do it all over again, would I have grown up elsewhere?
Noway! The childhood there with all the ups/downs gave me the best foundation
on which to be stretched and pulled to become who I am today. I would not trade
the vast open spaces I ran and wandered as a child. My independence was in its
embryonic stage as I problem solved my way through “little to do” or “little to
have.” We didn’t have a swing set, no problem. My dad had an old spool from
wiring and I had a rope. My mom had a clothesline. I had a brain and a will. Voila!
Within 2 hours, I had a swing that I used every day. My neighbor Blake and I set off often with
nothing but our bikes and a gun [ok, pellet or BB you naysayers…]. We fished.
We rode anywhere we needed to go. We built things that we didn’t have. I would
not trade that for anything. Noone was there to intercede if we fought—social emotional
problem solving at best.
Recently I overhead a discussion about the school systems in
America, and someone said “Well I mean its not ‘Mississippi bad’ right?” Well,
hold on partner. That Mississippi education was the building blocks for my
education, and at that time, I was one of the most educated sitting at that
table. [Brain says: Cat, put your claws
in your paws!] What I remember about that small town Mississippi education
was far more than the classes offered or not
offered. It was a place where parents trusted the teachers. The teachers were
in control of the class and the students respected the teachers. If a child got
in trouble, a parent would never call the teacher to see what HE or SHE did. Emotional problem solving was taught.
Sometimes there are discrepancies in life, deal with it. Your parents can’t
always save you, and I believe that they shouldn’t. Yes, mind you, this is
short of an unsafe or grossly unfair occurrence. Just those lessons prepared me
for life far more than the academic lessons. I have worked in 2 school districts
here in CA since moving here. All I’ll say is “worry about your own little red
wagon before it rolls down the hill.”
If you can’t tell, I love
the Southern sayings. I hope I become that old lady who primarily speaks in
metaphors, similes, and other figures of speech. I feel like Jesus using his
parables.
Perhaps I can offer you a different story of a Southern girl,
and this is just one story that is vastly different than the single story:
- Master’s degree in Speech – Language Pathology [BTW, we don’t talk “slow/er;” we just add more diphthongs]
- Working on a 2nd graduate level national certification in Behavior Analysis
- Staunch Jesus follower but not religious at all
- Not yet married, and no kids [= no divorce(s)]
- Clocked 6 trips to South Africa
- Supportive of the right to be a family for ANYONE – it doesn’t mean I agree with any situation but I believe in my right to be happy and loved therefore I must support it for others
- Open-minded
- Go-to food: pho and Korean BBQ
- In an inter-racial relationship to marry [GASP, he’s black; in fact, it’s a lovely story and you can read about it HERE]
- When I adopt, my first choice is non-White
I urge you to beware
of a single story, and in turn, do not perpetuate
it. Ignorance is prevalent. Discrimination in some places is just more covert than others. I learned more
stereotypes when I moved to CA than I had ever seen the people they represent.
I was astonished as a girl sat me down and taught me about the Asian hierarchy
[which Asian is the best/worst] and even penis hierarchy y’all [size according
to race]. O.M.G. I had never heard anything like that in the great state of
Mississippi!!!
So, instead of think of what you see on TV when you think of
Southern, think of me or a few others I’m proud to have called “neighbor” at
one time or another.
- Jimmy Buffet
- Medger Evers
- Brett Favre
- William Faulkner
- Jim Henson
- James Earl Jones
- B.B. King
- Archie Manning
- Walter Payton
- Elvis Presley
- Eudora Welty
- Tennessee Williams
- Oprah Winfrey
- Michael Clarke Duncan
- Morgan Freeman
Sweet tea raised, proud, and always committed to picking a Southerner if ever deserted on an island,
Danielle
