Goodbye, Marie

I remember that day as vividly as it was yesterday. I was new to California and my job. I was a Speech Pathologist at an elementary school in Pasadena. It was so different than my experience in Mississippi. I could not pronounce half of the teachers' last names. I had to learn so much about bilingualism as many of the students spoke Spanish as their primary language. I was learning about immigration - legal and illegal and working with families from both. I was working all day and going to graduate school at night in East LA, which was a learning curve in itself. I was a deer in headlights most days trying to make sense of and succeed in my new world. I needed someone "from the inside" to guide me and teach me the ways.


One day I was standing in front of the teacher mailboxes. I was stalling reading what I had as if it was the most important document I had ever received. I felt overwhelmed and lonely. I heard a voice calling my name. I turned around and saw Marie. She introduced herself as Miss Pinnie. She asked how it was going, and then she invited me to happy hour with her. She also mentioned that Miss Lake was going and probably Miss Navarro. Without hesitation, I said yes! She told me to meet her out front and I could follow her. I remember her walking away saying "Look for the silver Saab." I followed her that day to the Colorado, a dark and dank locals bar. That was the beginning of long lasting friendships and memories that can make me laugh or cry at any moment. Lara (Miss Lake) and Xiomara (Miss Navarro), along with Marie (Miss Pinnie) became some of my best friends.


Eventually, we all went our separate ways but kept in touch as we could. Per usual, in hindsight, communication will never feel like it was enough. A few years ago, I went to NY on my honeymoon and I tried to see Marie but it didn't work out.


Saturday, I found out that Marie had passed away suddenly. I immediately messaged the "old gang" to make sure they knew and we immediately began to recount memories and share photos. We also shared sadness, disbelief, and gratitude for what we had.


I've spent the last few days thinking of how much impact Marie had on some of my formative years. Marie was a very complex person and struggled from time to time because of it, but she was good to the core. She loved life and lived very passionately. In the time that I was learning of various cultures and interacting with immigrants, I watched Marie navigate this world so well. She loved everyone and treated everyone exactly the same - no matter age, sexual orientation, history, language, culture, status, whatever. She had pure intentions with all. She loved her students so much and she taught them to be kind humans as much as she taught them the kindergarten curriculum.


We spent so many weekends together. We took full advantage of weekends and the California sun. We went horseback riding every month on a Saturday morning, we ate Mexican breakfast at Los Burritos, hiked the canyons, rode bikes on the beach in Santa Monica and Venice Beach, danced reggae or salsa, chicken wings & the juke box at Ye Rustic Inn, BBQs at Lara's, shot tequila at El Carmen, and sipped flaming margaritas at El Compadre. That's just to name a few. We had several weekends in Mexico at Las Rocas with the rest of the gang- lobsters at Puerto Nuevo, dinner at Ricky's Place, dancing in our room, karaoke, Miami Vices by the pool, and relaxing by the pool. We played Santa "Migra" every time we passed through the border.


Marie loved the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and she strived to live life according to these principles. She would kindly reprimand if you weren't "impeccable with your word" or you didn't "do your best." She would remind you to "not taking anything personally" and "don't make assumptions."


The beautiful thing is that I've read similar posts on Marie's Facebook page. She impacted so many people. Did she know it? Did we tell her through the years? Did she pass feeling the love that she was surrounded by from afar? Did she know the legacy she would leave?


Marie, thank you for the reminders. Live life to the fullest. Treat everyone with kindness. Withhold judgment. Follow your passions. Walk into conflict and address it. Eat all the meatballs. Dance no matter who is watching because WHO CARES? Be honest with your words.


Rest in peace, friend.

I can hear you calling me "Dan" or "Dani" before you said something important. My heart will carry your words (spoken in your accent) and they will be reminders to me when needed most. My memory will always see you dancing and smiling. I love you. Thank you


You've reminded us of ancient words printed so long ago:

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

James 4:14

Danielle