Today, I’m committing to a true Sabbath after a long week of working extra hours for extra $ for debt payment and adoption savings. I’ve been in emotional chaos, all over the place, in regard to issues blasted over social media relating to Trayvon Martin and Kony/Jason Russell. My blood pressure has skyrocketed many times over what needless effects race has on humanity and our world (which ranges from stereotyping both Blacks AND Whites and every shade in between). It hits harder as I work hard to save and prepare to embark upon becoming a transracial family and accepting all the “stuff” that goes with it. This is the tip of the iceberg, I know. I know there will be lots of posts on that topic later on down the road....
There are times that as a human I question this whole process even though I know this is my story. I feel that whisper of “Keep your eyes upward [as in above the computer monitor] and trust.” I go back to those two phrases I heard so clearly months ago:
Be expectant.
Be intentional.
I’ve had little glimpses over the past 2 months of what I know will be “big things” when I start the process actively (as in filing the paperwork to begin and beginning fundraising). So many in my community and beyond have adopted this notion of being intentional, and on more than one occasion, I’ve been humbled to speechless (can you believe that one?!?!) and awe-filled. While none go unnoticed, I do want to share a few.
Throughout the days while I’m working, I can hear drops of recyclables go into my container I have outside my room. As I hear each bottle hit faintly in the background of my work activity, it whispers “We believe in you. You can do this.” The echoes of their intent are deafening. I am so appreciative of the commitment of co-workers and friends continuing to save recyclables and bring them into me. Thank you guys!
I saw this picture on Facebook of a dear friend and fellow Africa-lover, Robyn. She grabbed bottles at the park and took them home so I could have them. She didn’t worry about what she looked like in public. She explained her intents to her children who asked questions when they saw their mama "trash diving." She has a heart for orphans and adoption. She was intentional.
Well later, Robyn’s son Zachary had a jog-a-thon at school and was given a plastic water bottle afterward. He saved it and brought it home so it could go into the recycling. A 10-year-old’s determination to be intentional must have made God beam with pride.
A friend I haven’t seen in years reads my blog posts and sends words of encouragement online. She shared my story with a friend. Another friend of hers, someone I have never met, standing by overheard and asked her to mail me a check to go into the adoption fund. She did this immediately. Both Stacey and Sabrina were intentional.
My friends Helen + Sam brought recyclables but also a bag of loose change to go toward the fund. My piggy bank is full of their intent.
These few but invaluable occurrences make it easier for me to be expectant. It also brings to mind a verse that I tucked away in my heart long before I expected this journey:
Open up before God, keep nothing back;
he'll do whatever needs to be done:
He'll validate your life in the clear light of day
and stamp you with approval at high noon.
he'll do whatever needs to be done:
He'll validate your life in the clear light of day
and stamp you with approval at high noon.
Psalm 37: 5-6, the Message version
So again, thank you everyone who has become part of my village. There are days when I feel crazy, and you don’t know how life-saving just one plastic bottle can be sometimes. Sometimes, it’s that one bottle or sound of that bottle dropping in the recycling container that reminds me of my intentions in this crazy God-sized journey and confirms it.
Love,
Danielle
