"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." -Mother Teresa

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There is a saying in many parts of Africa: "If you educate a man, you simply educate an individual, but if you educate a woman, you educate a nation."
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

That time I got married in Vegas....

Remember that time I got married in Vegas? Oh, oops! That cat didn’t make it out of the bag for many people because I wanted to save up all the zeal for the “real” wedding in April.

Well anyway, I did.

Luba arrived in October (2013). He came here on what is called a fiancĂ© visa. One of the stipulations was that we would be married within 90 days of his arrival. No stress right? No biggie? I’ve loved being in a 3-some all this time—me, Luba, and US government. We knew we wanted to share the moment publicly in a warm personal ceremony surrounded by our closest people. We knew we’d have to have a legal ceremony within the timeline in order to proceed with the process, and it would occur before we had the chance to plan the “real” wedding. The idea of going to the courthouse didn’t appeal to me. I like “off the beaten path.” I like quirky. I like fun. So, the idea hit to do something I SWORE I would never do (remember me and my nevers? Yeah, I always end up doing them) --- VEGAS BABY! DRIVE THRU! I mean, pop-out-through-the-sunroof-limo-ride-straight-up-to-the-window Vegas. I asked Luba and he preferred that idea over the courthouse. To him, having people with us being witness and having fun was the deciding factor.

So we did it! My friend April and I booked it. We booked it right there at the District in Tustin, sitting right outside Pinkberry. We laughed until we nearly cried booking this excursion. Yes, there is a dropdown menu where you can choose Elvis to be present or not.




On the morning of November 9, we headed out to Vegas! I look back on it now and chuckle. We were so new to one another and he was barely recovered from jetlag. We knew we were serious and had made this commitment to each other long before. There was no question that we would marry within a short time frame. It was just so weird for it to be “here” already. We had waited so long. We had spent hours talking about it.

We headed out and of course realized “too far into the trip” that Luba forgot his passport at home. We called to make sure that we could use an alternate ID since he had his driver license from South Africa. We first headed out to get our marriage license once we reached Vegas. It was quite the fiasco with no passport because his driver license listed his first 2 initials and last name. On November 9, I was set to marry “Li Mntanga.” Birds weren’t chirping at this moment as I realized this would not fare well with our paperwork. This process requires one to be meticulous and each detail must be perfect and triple checked and matched to other documents. It requires one to be OCD to the –nth degree. I recited like a crazy person: Oh God help me. Just move on. Just enjoy and do damage control after the fact. “Li” is probably wonderful too.

We had friends meeting us in Vegas at the hotel. We had a fabulous suite waiting for us at the Hard Rock Hotel (thanks again, AB!). We lunched, walked, and wasted time as we waited for the room to be ready. What was taking it so long?!?!?  I swear we spent half a day hanging at the reception area.

We didn’t have time to check in at this point before we’d have to be ready to leave so we got ready at a friend’s room. Can you feel my stress level rising?! I’m having heart palpitations as I recall all this. We met the gang downstairs at the lobby where the limo was waiting. It was on!

We all piled in and headed to the little white chapel. We pulled in behind another limo finishing up. I could see the “menu” on my left. I only had nervous giggles. I applied more MAC red lipgloss. What else could a girl do?

Finally, it was our turn. I was given my bouquet. I was surprised at how lovely the flowers were. We had a pastor come to the window and greet us—this meant a lot to me, not just any officiant. The photographer climbed in the car with us to capture the moments before and during the ceremony. It was short. She gave a little blurb, which I recall being nice but couldn’t tell you one thing she said. We said the standard vows. We didn’t exchange rings. I wanted to save this for our ceremony with friends and family.

Afterward, we got out and took some pictures at the chapel before heading back to the hotel for our drop-off. We were dropped off at the Palazzo for a dinner reservation at Table 10. This Emeril Lagasse restaurant is Cajun themed so it was a perfect place to celebrate as our “real” wedding would be in New Orleans. After dinner, we walked around to show Luba Vegas and then headed back to our suite, where the action ensued. No, not that action….BUT there was some mean dancing skills being showcased there that night!

BUT, walking in to the room was a fun surprise! While the room had been delayed, Candice & Kerrie Ann were able to sneak in first for some decorating. Turns out, I barely missed them at the Hard Rock when we were walking around. Apparently, April had redirected us walking when she spotted them around the lobby. We walked in to balloons, chilled champagne (ordered to be waiting from my friend Jody), bundtinis (my fave dessert), and gifts. It was a perfect night. We revived classic booty music hip hop songs. I laughed until I cried. We’ll all remember my new husband trying owning “the worm” on the floor.










The rest is history – and well, because – what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Here are some pictures from the night. Oh and remember that lip gloss I liberally applied in nervousness? My all-time favorite pictures are the ones where Luba’s actually wearing it after the kiss that sealed the deal. And, look how it's all over my lips! Enjoy!



















Love,

Danielle, the Mrs.

P.S. When we got back, we were able to show the passport and get the name corrected. Phew! But, I did enjoy that rendezvous with Li.




Saturday, April 12, 2014

Choosing JOY!

It’s been a roller coaster ride for the past few months with the medical fiasco (HMO nightmare), work, finishing my behavior analysis fieldwork, studying for the boards in May (I signed up because I’m not busy at all?) and finishing wedding planning on top of "regular life stuff." Just listing all that makes me exhausted. Exhausted on top of exhausted.  It can be overwhelming at any given time—enough to send you into a flurry of unhealthy emotions, so much that you spiral and can’t figure out just how or where you started. Recently, I had had enough. Although I’m wading through one of the worst seasons of my life, I had been unknowingly allowing the best season to be eclipsed. I’ve waited for this wedding for so long. It has been years in the making and the visa journey to get here has been and continues to be the hardest thing I’ve ever navigated.

A few months ago, I was at a loss and really at the bottom of emotions. Insurance has denied requests for what I need at every turn, including the final one this week. I've exhausted ALL of my rights with them (insert any unholy word here). Doctors were in a hurry to do surgery. I was frantic, grabbing for any hope or other option, and really any other doctors. How could I fit this in before the wedding? What if my recovery wasn’t great and I was “ugly” during the wedding? None of it was fair. I spiraled and spiraled and spiraled to the bottom. When I consulted with a second specialist (which is a miracle story in and of itself), it felt like what could only be a 15-minute conversation with Jesus. I have no doubt that this man was an instrument, providing so much more than medical opinions. His whole demeanor is gentle, kind, unassuming, and supportive. I went into that conversation a “hot mess” moving like a tornado of conflicting emotions, constantly evolving. I came out with peace like I’ve never known. The circumstances never changed and the risks and possible outcomes were further detailed. Still, there was a trust. A trust in a specialist and a bigger trust in so much more. I felt enveloped. I felt like my soul had been hugged. Laughter came back. Hope had re-emerged. A perspective had shifted.

One of the reliefs was that I could wait until after the wedding to have surgery or consider other options. I could enjoy the wedding season without fear or worry of time. I should not be rushed. I had confirmation-- I could listen to all those quiet voices within me telling me to slow down and trust more. 

Although the journey continues and the fight with insurance is like a weekly waged war, I have maintained that peace and hope. I fight with the weapons I have, but I know that God is fighting the rest for me with His. As in the last blog post here, I come back to Exodus 14:14 time and time again: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” I'm not a person who waits, but I'm finding in peace in being still. 

With some aspects of life right now, I feel like I’m standing against a wall, and an unknown is throwing darts. I dodge and I miss. I celebrate each miss. I duck well. I maneuver quickly. I’m made for this and I’ve been prepared for this. I don't even like it one bit. 

Despite it all, I choose JOY. I choose to focus on the wedding despite the other unknowns. So many blog posts ago, I held on to Habakkuk 2:3 which says, “For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” The time is now and although it felt it most times, it was not delayed. It is time to CELEBRATE. Our wedding ceremony is a tangible representation of God’s providence for both of us—His gifts—His miracles crafted especially for us and our ministry together whatever that may be.

 

True joy arises from knowing God’s faithfulness, provision, and intent for good despite the circumstances. In another long ago blog post (see here), I was reminded by “hindsight,” being able to look back on the gift God gives us. We may not know what is ahead of us, but we are able to look in the rearview mirror and see the unending instances of his provisions. For me, it is literally miracle after miracle from childhood to now. With that “history,” how can I worry about the journey ahead? I’m gifted with support. From physician connections in the strangest of ways to the kindest of office staff advocating on my behalf at the state level, things are lining up. I see it and feel it in my periphery. I understand it may not result according my desires but there’s a plan. Redemption will come. There will continue to be support. My life will continue to be a light.

 

The following verses regarding joy were brought to mind the other night and I continue to soak in them, take refuge in them, and whisper them to myself like a sweet lullaby.

 

1 Peter 1:8-9

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Nehemiah 8:10

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

 

Psalm 27:5-7

For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted
    above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
    I will sing and make music to the Lord.
Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
    be merciful to me and answer me.

 

Hoping that you can feel abundant joy despite your circumstances,


Danielle