Freedom!

As some of you do annually, I have begun picking a word for the New Year. Frequently, the “word” or idea comes to me around November-ish before the New Year begins and I jot it down. So far, they have been profound and I’ve been amazed looking back in December at the end of each year at how that theme was divinely interwoven and consistently present throughout my experiences. To take a look back, here were the last few:

2012: REDEMPTION

2013: STORYTELLING

I had many beautiful stories to tell that birthed in 2013. I found myself sharing my story as well as Luba’s & my story time and time again. I connected with so many people of all ages and backgrounds through stories, both mine and theirs. You can read about both of those HERE. 

This year, FREEDOM came to me. I liked that. It sounded good. I quickly jotted that one down and claimed that baby. Then, as I pondered on it more and prayed through it, I realized it had a secondary part, VULNERABILITY. Oh no! Ouch! I think it’ll be a good year taking steps to more “Freedom” by being vulnerable, by taking the lid off many of those areas of my life that are snug, nestled way down deep inside. Being married this year will bring a lot of things into the light (well if I want to start off on a healthy start that is, and I do).

The learning process has begun and is in full swing!

I’m a do-er. I love to take care of others. I am there when someone needs something. I love to help. What I don’t like is to be taken care of. I don’t like to need someone to do something for me. I appreciate being independent and able. When my angiogram was scheduled, I was grateful that Luba is now here and would be there for the day with me. It’s expected in our relationship and I’m learning to lean into that more. Then, I was told that I could not drive home after the procedure. GULP. Luba is not yet driving, for technical reasons with insurance and such. I had to figure out a ride home so I scheduled that with a close friend. I hated asking but we’ve been friends for a long time and I know we would help each other out whenever possible. Everything was all set. Then, another friend was over for dinner and asked who was dropping me off at the hospital. Panic started to rise. I had to be there for check-in at 7am and I had not even thought of the obvious….if I drive there and get a ride home, my car has to get home somehow. She immediately offered to pick us up. Now, she is the most fabulous person ever. She’s just plain good people. BUT, to me, she’s a “newer” friend. The history is not yet there as it is with my other friend. It’s so easy but I was at a loss, frozen, as the offer of assistance was floating in the air. Everything ran through my mind “She works later which means she’s getting up and to work hours earlier than normal, AND on a Monday for Heaven’s sake,” “She’s got a baby and husband, this is inconvenient,” etc. “Freedom” and “vulnerability” flashed in my mind, and I said “yes!” This was a very hard yes for me. My mind immediately then ran through “payback” acts of service for her kindness. I felt a voice just say “Stop” and “receive.”

Why is it so hard for me/us to accept kindness? I am one who would drive someone else despite work schedules. I know it’s not inconvenient. Why couldn’t I accept this? I had to fight the urge to keep to a simple “thank you” without “payback.” I’m learning to accept blessings. This is part of the year, and I can see the odds stacked up in learning’s favor already. There will be many more moments.

It’s my goal to accept that people offer what they want and what they would be happy to do for or be to us. I must let other’s bless me.

Is it hard for you? Say “yes” and “thank you” and move on. Try it.

Love,

Danielle  

"Seeing" People

For a long time now, I’ve tried to see people. By “see” people, I don’t mean notice. I mean, really listen to their story to hear their emotion so that I can respond to it. That’s what we are here for, right? One another? Superheroes don’t exist because we do. We have a special power to “save the day” sometimes, but we have to listen and be keen to the spirit of a person.

I never thought about this until a few years ago. I’ll never forget the scenario. A group of us were on our way back from a trip. We were all a bunch of “good” people having just spent a week serving others and getting our hands dirty. We sat tired and hungry in a restaurant. We had great service. We had a great waitress who chatted with us for a bit. She talked of her twins at home. As we were about to leave, one friend asked if we could all write in a card to her [BTW, who carries notecards on them like a swiss army knife or chap stick?!]. We agreed in our confusion. What some of us didn’t “see” was this one friend asking questions to the waitress. We didn’t read between the lines in her answers. Our friend had a “hunch” and we all followed it. We wrote in and sealed the card and placed it with our bill. What happened next was a moment that has changed my daily life and prayer life to this day. The waitress was visibly overwhelmed with gratitude and shock. She added that she had been upset all day before coming to work. It was the anniversary of her mother’s death.

On a almost-daily basis my prayers include “Help me see people. Help me to hear the voice that cries out for that kind word, encouragement, or compliment. Help me hear a voice that desires to be celebrated. Give me the wisdom in responding.”

I love NewSong because each time something is on my heart, in an eerily cool way, it comes up as a theme. How to bless people (it’s really not that hard, y’all) has been a tool with which we have been equipped. It’s the easiest most powerful gift we possess.

Recently, I was the recipient of one of the greatest blessings I’ve known. I’m so thankful this woman went with her “gut.” It may have been the worst day I’ve known. I can’t think of another day that has hit me this hard. I got to work and then left 5 minutes later as a crumpled mess. I needed to be home to ride out the emotion. I decided to go to my “happy place” which is a Christian-owned spa that I love supporting (you know me and my love for mom & pop). Each time I go, the service and hospitality are both impeccable. My body just wanted to lie in the darkness, get some TLC, and listen to the old hymns by piano playing overhead. It’s a great place for me to be stripped (literally) to focus, process, and pray. I composed myself long enough to make the phonecall for an appointment. I was doubtful that any appointments were open as is usually the case last minute. I needed it NOW, not later this afternoon. I put on my fake cheery voice and dialed. Little did I know, a blessing (and miracle) were waiting on the other end of the line. I had no idea that I was about to get a big reminder from God that said “I’ve got this/you.”

Our phone conversation went like this:

Me: Do you have any appointments available today?

Male receptionist: Let me put you on hold for a moment. [weird, they have never put me on hold]

sure.

Woman receptionist: Hello! This is XXX. You want to come in today? [cheeriest. voice. ever]

Me: Yes. What time do you have?

Woman: 2.

Me: Great! [my "fake it til you make it" voice]

Woman: You know what? Something in your voice tells me that you need to come in ASAP. Let me check again.

Me: Ok. [don’t cry...don’t cry...don’t cry…]

Woman: How is 11:30? [ok, it’s 10:15 now] It is with the therapist you usually have.

Me: Perfect.

Woman: Have you ever tried our hydrotherapy baths? [at this point, I’m annoyed. I’m in NO mood for “up selling” but my dream has always been one of these baths but I’m too stingy to spend the money on top of a massage]

Me: No, I haven’t. No thanks.

Woman: How about this? Would it be okay with you if I book that for you prior to your massage and it be complimentary? I’d love to do that for you today.

Me: Sure! [keep it together…..]

Woman: Ok, can you come right now?

Wow! I’m not usually the recipient of such kindness. I was speechless. I ran out the door and to the spa. When I walked in, they immediately said “Hi Danielle.” They knew it was me. Sometimes, the best thing is someone saying your name because they know you. They see your identity. [Ok, so what that they knew me by blood shot eyes?!] I thanked the woman for her kindness. She just said, “That is why I’m here today. I could tell by your voice that you were sad” Now, I’ve never spoken to her or seen her. I did not recognize her at all. She walked me back even though I knew the way and the routine. She spent extra time with me, when it was unnecessary.  The bath was literally my idea of Heaven. It was detoxifying physically, emotionally and spiritually. I could write a whole post about the bath experience. It reached my core.

Later that afternoon, the spa called, which is something that they have NEVER done before. The guy told me that the person who booked my appointment was the owner and that she asked him to call to check on me. Again, a reminder. That day, she was not just a “spa owner.” She used what she had in her “tool box” to speak right down to the soul. It completely changed my day and helped me turn my outlook on some things around.

I believe fully that the Georgia school incident could have turned out differently if it had not been for the office staff “seeing” the shooter. I listened to the full 10-minute 911 call in tears. I could feel her courage. I could feel her love for life and people in the way she spoke to him. I know she was dying inside but she continued on and spoke out what he needed to hear.

See someone today. Act on a hunch. What’s the worst that can happen? Everyone could use a kind word. Show someone “the way” and spend more time with them even though they already know. Sometimes its the company, not the routine, that speaks.

Oh yeah...who carries notecards on them life a swiss army knife or chap stick? I DO!

Love,

Danielle