Yesterday, I sent out a very personal blog post. I feel like I always have the angel and devil situated on my shoulders like you see in the cartoons. One whispers truths and one whispers lies, and unfortunately the lies are easier to attend to because you’ve already told them to yourself over and over in the past. As soon as I woke up, my first thought was “What the hell were you thinking by spilling your innermost thoughts, blasting them all over the internet to the whoevers in whereever-land?!” This came to me a few times as I was writing it yesterday too since I’m an introvert who gets grumpy when someone gets in my business when its not my idea or within my time frame to share that information.
On the way to work this morning, I was thinking about one of my loves at work and something that happened last week when I saw him. We played a game while working on our language skills to make it more enticing. Often games backfire as kids start to become competitive. I never let kids win since that is not “real life” for them so its all up to chance with the spinner as it would be with their friends. Well, “G” went first , counted spaces, and then made his way with his pawn to his designated spot. Then I went and scored a higher number and moved ahead of him. His face dropped. All he could see was what was immediately ahead and the fact that I passed him and he began to negotiate. I knew this was going to be a looooooong game! Then something I wasn’t expecting happened. When he took his turn, passed me, and put his pawn on his spot, he took mine and put it next to him. I asked why he did that because I hadn’t yet spun and he was ahead. He batted his long eyelashes and looked at me with his beautiful eyes, and he said “Because I love you and I want you to be right next to me.” He did this for every turn. He had no way of knowing that day how much I appreciated someone swooping me up and taking me alongside--even if during a silly game. Okay not a big deal in the grand scheme of things other than it melts your heart? Not for me. I spend a lot of time looking ahead at the obstacles in the immediate future, not considering the vastness ahead of those or even the finish line, and I’ve subsequently forfeited a few dreams. This was a loving reminder that I needed to spend more time “looking back” to appreciate how far I’ve come, provisions have always been made, and how I’ve been prepped for where I am now.
I was thinking of that this morning as I drove down the 22 headed for work while staring into a dismal horizon. The sky was an ugly blue, still sleepy with rain in the forecast. I glanced back in the rearview and my breath was taken away by the sun waking up and reaching over the mountains. The sky was all shades of orange and utterly amazing to see. Then, when I looked ahead, I began to notice that the back of the signs reflected the orange color as did the windows of tall office buildings. The light trickled ahead allowing me to see it in places that I would not have thought to look had I not seen the sunrise behind me. Yet another timely beautiful reminder.
I knew then that this was my confirmation for posting yesterday. The exposure and transparency of my story will help others check their “rearview” and look back in order to gain encouragement to look ahead again and continue pursuing their dreams, whatever they may be.
On the way to work this morning, I was thinking about one of my loves at work and something that happened last week when I saw him. We played a game while working on our language skills to make it more enticing. Often games backfire as kids start to become competitive. I never let kids win since that is not “real life” for them so its all up to chance with the spinner as it would be with their friends. Well, “G” went first , counted spaces, and then made his way with his pawn to his designated spot. Then I went and scored a higher number and moved ahead of him. His face dropped. All he could see was what was immediately ahead and the fact that I passed him and he began to negotiate. I knew this was going to be a looooooong game! Then something I wasn’t expecting happened. When he took his turn, passed me, and put his pawn on his spot, he took mine and put it next to him. I asked why he did that because I hadn’t yet spun and he was ahead. He batted his long eyelashes and looked at me with his beautiful eyes, and he said “Because I love you and I want you to be right next to me.” He did this for every turn. He had no way of knowing that day how much I appreciated someone swooping me up and taking me alongside--even if during a silly game. Okay not a big deal in the grand scheme of things other than it melts your heart? Not for me. I spend a lot of time looking ahead at the obstacles in the immediate future, not considering the vastness ahead of those or even the finish line, and I’ve subsequently forfeited a few dreams. This was a loving reminder that I needed to spend more time “looking back” to appreciate how far I’ve come, provisions have always been made, and how I’ve been prepped for where I am now.
I was thinking of that this morning as I drove down the 22 headed for work while staring into a dismal horizon. The sky was an ugly blue, still sleepy with rain in the forecast. I glanced back in the rearview and my breath was taken away by the sun waking up and reaching over the mountains. The sky was all shades of orange and utterly amazing to see. Then, when I looked ahead, I began to notice that the back of the signs reflected the orange color as did the windows of tall office buildings. The light trickled ahead allowing me to see it in places that I would not have thought to look had I not seen the sunrise behind me. Yet another timely beautiful reminder.
I knew then that this was my confirmation for posting yesterday. The exposure and transparency of my story will help others check their “rearview” and look back in order to gain encouragement to look ahead again and continue pursuing their dreams, whatever they may be.
