Our first Winter

As most of you know, this is our first Winter in St. Louis - well, our first Winter anywhere that has a real Winter. We've lived in cold places with low temperatures but we have never dealt with snow that doesn't dissolve shortly after falling. We keep being asked: What do we think?

Well, what we think is Winter is not our favorite season physically or financially. It's so fun to watch the snow fall and accumulate. It is beautiful to see as it settles on the tree branches and over the hills. Now, I say this from the perspective of the heated car window or more especially from my window at our apartment. It isn't fun YET brushing off the car (well, ask Luba) or sliding driving in it. I slid a couple times on the last drive. I've never had such tightly clenched body parts and white knuckles before.

First of all, we are grossly under-dressed. Due to getting back on our feet financially after a cross country move and the fact that I'm always under-dressed in cool/cold temperatures, we have not yet grown our winter wardrobe and supplies. We have coats to get us by and we will definitely be prepared next year (remind me to read this sentence next year to see if I'm laughing or crying uncontrollably). Luba has been his more-than-awesome self as usual. After a snowfall, he brushes off my car before he leaves for work even on those days I go in much later and have more time.

Luckily, it has been a very mild Winter. High five, God, you know we can only handle smaller increments in change and temperature. We are weak mortals. It has only really affected us on 2 workdays so that's pretty minimal.

The nice thing is that everyone understands it and appreciates getting off the road and settled in somewhere when you can, or when you suck at driving in snow. It has been a forced slow pace, which has been nice. It was great timing for our Whole30 because we weren't tempted by sunny outside patios at breweries or picnics in the park with cheeses & meats!

I constantly remind myself of thoughts shared in the post, Seasons. How I'll appreciate that Spring! Come on now, Spring, so that I can fully appreciate you.

I'll post some pictures below from our new Winter Wonderland.

Stay warm,

Danielle

 first time behind the wheel

 

 Bless him - he's the sweetest

 

Christmas 2015

2015 has been a hard year with so many emotional changes and transitions and getting back on our feet. I usually get the "Christmas blues" at this time and this year definitely topped the cake. I love the holiday and traditions but I don't love the commercial take-over it can become. It takes so much more searching to find that hope that Jesus came to bring so long ago. I had become weary from treading water and constantly looking for it in a time in the United States that is just ugly. Hopelessness invades us as we watch the news and become overwhelmed with all that is going wrong. This season seemed to overflow with hatred, anxiety and fear. Horrific things happened. Too many deaths within my 6 degrees of separation happened. My mom is sick. I'm not where I think I should be or want to be in life, and I begin to compare to others  which is never ever good. It was all wrapped up under my imaginary tree this year. For weeks I have thought about how Christmas comes in Winter (see my post about Seasons here). In my mind, it is most fitting that way. In the middle of the "blues" and darkness and tragedy and bitterness, hope comes as the most vulnerable in the darkest times. A baby. A poor baby. A baby with a questionable story to others. What King is born under those circumstances? How could anyone have known the greatness from this smallness? That was it - I was reminded that hope and love most often come in small packages, not grand ones. It comes in the vulnerable, the weak, and the least expected. I was reminded with each of the 400,000 cards arrived to Safyre (I lost count after that), refugees were placed in homes and able to just sit and relax, when the Anonymous Santa paid off items on lay-a-way for people, and the list goes on. All of the small tokens of kindness and love become brighter. A little brightness lights up a dark room and when we all bring more of it, the darkness retreats and is no more. The pastor at the church we have been attending even touched on this after I have been stewing on it for weeks so it hit home a little more as a confirmation. I have to hang on to that thought for 2016 and remember "what a difference a year makes" and "the best is yet to come!" 

Luba and I just got back from being in Mississippi for the holidays. We left Wednesday evening, spent the night in Winona (MS), and drove the remainder of the journey on Christmas Eve morning. We only had 1 mishap going...I punched in the address to the hotel without adding the zip code and we passed our hotel. Oops! From where we were (our GPS final destination in a field rather than Comfort Inn), we could see a Holiday Inn with a huge cross next to it. We have seen this before as we passed by and we drove along the road to look at it. To my surprise, the road that leads to it was "Bro. Johnny Walker Road."

Bro. Johnny Walker was the pastor of my childhood church and the father of one of my best friends as a child. He was such an integral part of my early faith and foundation. I thought of my friend/his daughter, Candace, and wondered if I could find her online. I have searched for her and wondered about her for years but never found her. I looked her up on Facebook and there she was, finally a fruitful search, so I sent a friend request. Once we were checked in and settled into our hotel, I got a message from her and we were able to reconnect. My heart was full at the moment - no additional gifts needed. I needed that down to my soul and core. If you are from Lucedale, you know the Walker family was a gift to the community and First Baptist Church. They are truly special people and few come close to the warmth, hospitality and integrity of this family. Having that online connection with her woke something up in my soul. It just brought back so many memories.

Luba and I spent the entire time home between Mom's, Daddy's, and my brother Cary's homes. We laughed, ate, watched TV, and played Cards Against Humanity. There was a lot of porch swinging and listening to the rain. You can see that here (after you take your Dramamine):

It was just great to be home and focused solely on family. I am truly grateful that we live closer.

We made the drive back Sunday, stopping over in Winona again for LUNCH WITH THE WALKER FAMILY! We had casually mentioned meeting up but most of the time those things never work out so I didn't get my hopes up. We left Lucedale and headed out. Only 1 mishap happened on the way back - missing our interstate connection. Oops again! We backtracked a lot and wound up having to take back roads and country highways so we had this view for a looooong time:

We arrived a bit late but arrived. I can't even express how awesome to pull in to their drive and see my long lost friend waiting outside! THIS is how Facebook excels - reunions! We had the best time catching up but it was not nearly enough time for the years missed. When you reunite with childhood friends and their families, it truly feels that no time has passed.

Luba and I both wanted to stay longer but had to head out for the remaining 6 hours drive. We definitely plan to go back down and visit again, for a longer amount of time. Mrs. Dolores and Candice of course sent us on our way with travel mugs of sweet tea, a mason jar filled with extra tea, cheese & crackers, sandwiches, oranges, dessert, and water for the road. 

It was a great holiday - but as I say every year, next year will be less busy, more decorative, less commercial, and more intentional. And, I'll start much earlier.....

Remember: the best is yet to come! 

Happy New Year!
Danielle

Seasons

Hello from a beautiful Fall day in St. Louis!

I have been in “puppy love” with Fall here. It has always been my favorite season but I’ve never experienced it so fully as I have here in our first year in St. Louis. The trees are beautiful. So many times I have pulled over to take a picture. I often just swipe through my photos looking at the gallery of trees I’ve captured. The crisp cool breezes are romantic and invigorating. We are surrounded by beauty- we need not look too hard to find it. We are captivated by the colors we see at only this time of year. How many shades of golden? Orange? I had never seen these shades.

One reason I was excited to move here was to experience true seasons.  Recognizing that Winter would be difficult I knew the other seasons would be so much more appreciated and anticipated. In California, it’s hard to complain about year-round sunshine, but for me, it was not healthy. I needed the sights, sounds, feelings, and social experiences of all four seasons. Seasons are a physical tangible reminder of the cycles and seasons of life. Walking outdoors or through the park can be as good a sermon as Sunday morning.

Just look at these pictures: 

I love Fall most but I feel like when we are in a “Fall” in our lives, we know to cherish it. We know it can change any time. We recognize that we are living in the “good days,” and odds are that they can only last so long before we are faced with a challenge. Slowly we see the signs that the year (of our lives) is changing. Fall teases me with the hardest of seasons for me – Winter. The beloved leaves are falling from the trees in greater numbers. You can now see the bare branches instead of the full kaleidoscope of red, orange, brown and golden leaves. The air is more biting in the mornings and evenings. Ice begins to form early in the mornings providing us with warnings. There's a sense of preparedness. One day, we wake up and ask, “Where did it go?” although we know the answer already. we hope that we had acknowledged the subtleties and seized the opportunities before the next season comes.  

Winter often too closely follows Fall. It will come, there's no doubt. Winter is when we bunker up. We store up and we bustle less. We cling to each other to keep warm. We spend more time at home. We look for comfort. Flavors become warm and spicy. There’s a feeling of heaviness. The world outside can be bitter and harsh. There can be scarcity. There’s death. Maybe we barely get by. We question if we will survive this season. We have to reorient to what is important. We have to look more closely and longer to find beauty. We have to look for a “different” kind of beauty in this season. We don’t like it but it’s necessary, necessary for life and regrowth.

I need not go into detail as it is not my story, but Winter hit our family. I had been basking in my Fall (literally and spiritually). But, I knew. I felt Winter whispering. I felt tinges of cold blow through my soul. And then it came. So, just like the season, the family has bunkered up. We’ve stored up plans, love, and swords of scripture. We cling to togetherness, the essentials, and the bottom line. It’s harsh and bitter, but we know that as the seasons have beautifully taught us, Spring will come. On the other side of Winter is newness, vibrancy, life, growth. We will be renewed and refreshed, and we will never be the same as we were. As hard as it can be and will be, we take hope in Spring because we know that it is around the corner.

John Steinbeck said, "What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.”

Each season has so much to teach us, if we will watch.

So, loves, enjoy the season that you are in if you are in a sweet one. If you find yourself in Winter, hold on. Though it may not feel soon enough, Spring will come.

Love,

Danielle

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

He hath made everything beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8, 11 (King James Version)