Keeping Up With This Jones: Wedding

Our wedding ceremony was on April 26, 2014. This day could not have gone better. It had been building for years, and we experienced such joy and “redemption” on this day. We would love to share the ceremony with you as so many of our closest friends and family were unable to make it due to cost, distance, or other unexpected circumstances.

Our wedding was at Southern Oaks Plantation. The venue was beautiful and fit my personality perfectly—very traditional on the outside in true Southern style but ever evolving on the inside. It was light, simple but elegant.

Our friend and pastor, April Diaz, conducted the ceremony. I was as excited about her participation as anything else. She knows our story and she has been a part of this journey of prayer, celebration, miracles and heartache. I respect her immensely and she is one of my favorite people on this earth. I thank her for much of my leadership skills.

Our photographers, Jesse and Becky Morquecho from Limelife Photography, traveled to be with us and capture the day. It was also very important to have them with us. They know us. They know South Africa. They know Luba well. They too have been part of our journey from day 1 (and before we knew there would be a journey). Jesse and Becky were both interns at Monte Christo in South Africa, the organization that Luba worked for when he and I met. Look at a few of their pictures that are on their blog from the day:

One of the parts I loved the most was seeing my bouquet for the first time. Because I planned from a distance, I had to blindly trust many of the vendors. I used Brittney Ray’s Florist and had no idea what to expect. I had only given her ideas of bouquets I liked through various pictures via e-mail, an approximation of a “wedding color” since I didn't really have one (just whatever blended with the flowers), and the “must” of the South African national flower, protea, being featured. I wanted to incorporate this part of South Africa for Luba and because I love finding that flower each time I visit. It reminds me of all the things that I love there, all of the things that are natural and God-given. I almost fainted when I saw the bouquet. I still just can’t get over how amazing it was. She featured SEVERAL proteas within the one bouquet. Even ones that I didn’t know were a protea were indeed another variety (like the maroon one)! I never wanted to put it down. Long after the night ended, I kept asking “Where’s my bouquet?” or looking at the pictures of it that I took.

My sister stood with me during the ceremony. It was a day of "public standing" but she has been standing at my side for years & years. It was special to have only her with me at that moment. She walked down to "Marry Me" by Train and was escorted by her husband Peter, who stood with Luba. He too is an important part of my family.

My "daddy" walked me down the aisle which has been an anticipated dream since childhood. I've had an irrational fear for years that he would not be there due to medical reasons. I've cried for so many brides who have lost their fathers, and that dream, long before their wedding day. We walked down to "A Thousand Years" By Christina Perri. The lyrics resonated with me as I waited throughout this journey for visa paperwork, for Luba to arrive, for this day, etc. Even before I met Luba, I was waiting before I knew I was waiting for him.

It was overwhelming to look out in the audience during the ceremony and see the faces of the people who have weathered storms with us. I could tell stories of each one - of the support received, the cheers, the financial support, the words of encouragement, the prayers. For the love...the prayers! Each sustaining breath given during prayers interceding for us. Each person is a gift. Each individual contribution to us has been a gift. Each person knows our story (or most of it) and the struggles we have faced. It was a sweet kind of redemption to stand before them and commit during our ceremony. It was a celebration indeed. We’ll have more struggles ahead but for a few hours, we can focus solely on us, our miracles, our celebration, and show “WE DID IT!” Not just Luba and I as “WE” but all of our guests (both present and absent) and us through God’s grace. Beauty.

We decided to write our vows because our story is so unique. We kept them a surprise until the day. We only shared them with April, who was able to tell us if one was “heavier” than the other. It was our first time writing vows, you know! I was so excited about this element of surprise - hearing what Luba had written and sharing my thoughts to him.

Here are my vows (I went first):

Luba,

I remember the exact moment we met in 2007. My team had just landed and we were touring your community. I was in a new place, far from home, for the first time and was fearful. Your presence alone was calming and continues to put my fear at rest to this day. I never imagined on that day that years later we would be here. Our friendship grew over the years despite the distance. Each time, I got to know you better as a person and watch how you love others. You are the kindest person I have ever known. Your quiet strength and leadership are refreshing. Your ability to love others, including me, despite circumstances is unfathomable. I’ve learned more about Jesus by watching you both in South Africa and here. Your ability to make me laugh has been the most appreciated over the years and has carried me through the twists and turns that we’ve navigated since your arrival. I’ll never listen to Pit Bull quite the same way again.

In 2009, our atmosphere changed. We started the process for this visa in 2011 but an unshakeable fear set in. The loss of us at that time was the darkest point in my life. I let fear eclipse possibility, my feelings, and what I felt was God’s plan for my life and our lives together. I let ease, comfort and familiarity occlude the possibility of a difficult but worthy journey. In 2012, I came out with no expectations. You seemed clear about maintaining a friendship only. I’ll never forget the last leg of the flight to Cape Town. A flood of emotions took over and I wept for hours in my seat. I knew that if we were given another chance, I would live with no regrets and would give my whole heart. Feelings and timing were both undeniable and that second chance came for us. You were a piercing light into my darkness. Any day with you in the unknown was far greater than any day without you in familiarity.

Today, I’m honored to be able to share those promises that I swore to myself to you in front of family and friends.

Today, I commit to you.

I promise to love you every day for the rest of my life.

I will love you in abundance and scarcity, in sickness and in health.

I will be faithful only to you. My love will be steadfast and unwavering.

I will support you in dark times and celebrate with you in times of joy.

I promise to honor you and respect you and the decisions you make whether in agreement or disagreement.

I promise to support you as your pursue your dreams and “find your place” here.

I promise to make our house a home, and in that, incorporate as much of your culture and South Africa into that.

Each day, I will remember and honor the sacrifice you made when you moved here.

I will also spend the rest of my life doing all that I can to honor your parents as my own. I hope that I make them proud as I become the newest addition to the family and take the family name. [It was also my surprise to him that I would change my name. For the past months, I was committed to keep “Jones” but I decided to change and thought it’d be more meaningful to include it in the vows]

Ndiyakuthanda [which means “I love you” in Xhosa, his home language]

Here are Luba’s vows:

My Love

From the moment I first laid my eyes on you in 2007, I knew there was something special about you. Your kindness, generosity, selflessness, love for others and community were as visible, attractive as you were (and still are).

In 2009, while we would sit and talk until the early hours of the morning, I watched myself fall in love with you. Nothing gave me more pleasure than being around you and seeing your breathtaking smile. It was clear from then than we were destined to be together. It’s amazing to see what God has done since then to bring us together and make this day possible.

You are my treasure. You are my confidant. You are God’s perfect answer to my prayer for a wife and best friend. Ours will be a union only broken by death.

I accept the responsibility to love and protect you and be the best husband I can possibly be.

With our future as bright as the promises of God, I promise to cherish you.

I promise to listen to you, not just to the words but to the thoughts and feelings behind them.

I will fight for you. I will honor you. I will try in every way to be worthy of your love.

I will be kind to you. I will be devoted to you.

I will cry with you. I will dance with you. I will dance for you. I will laugh with you and occasionally laugh at you.

I will communicate with you and share the beautiful moments of life with you.

I will comfort you. I will snuggle with you. I will massage and rub you, including your feet.

As Christ is to His body, the church, so I will be to you a loving and faithful husband.

I will forever thank God for sending me a caring, loving and gorgeous angel.

I will love you always with every heart beat.

With profound gratitude, I take you, to be my cherished bride and beloved wife.

Our passage that we chose to frame our ceremony was Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 which states:

“Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their labor:

If either of them falls down,

one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

and has no one to help them up.

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken”

I am not a fan of doing something because it is expected and this held very true in both our wedding ceremony and reception. We broke tradition when it did not fit “us” but kept the parts that represented our relationship and our faith. Although I am not typically a fan of the sand ceremony, we chose to use it to commemorate our journey and relationship. You'll see why. Here is our script:

Today, Danielle & Luba have chosen to commemorate their marriage through a sand ceremony. This ceremony symbolizes the inseparable union between D & L into a marital relationship. Danielle & Luba will simultaneously pour separate containers of sand into a common vessel. Each grain of sand represents a unique and separate moment, decision, feeling or event that helped shaped each into the person they are today. When Luba left his country of South Africa to join Danielle in America, he brought sand from Cape Town. Not only does it represent his experience but also his culture and the place that Danielle loved, the place that brought her back year after year, and the place where their love grew. It represents something familiar for both of them. Danielle has brought sand with her from Orange County, CA, a place that has significantly shaped who she is today, and has combined it with sand from her roots and childhood, the shores of the Gulf of Mexico in Mississippi. The sand from the United States represents new adventures for them as a couple. As they pour their separate containers of sand into one vessel, those separate and independent individuals will not cease to exist, but instead, they will combine their experiences and cultures and merge into a marital union. The vessel of sand will serve as a visible reminder of God’s faithfulness in their unique story, a reminder of God’s love for his people that has no boundaries, and their mission together as couple.

We chose to have a king cake for our reception because I wanted everyone to partake of a part of my Southern roots and what is more traditional than a King Cake in New Orleans?

Luba & I walked out to the beginning of the "Circle of Life" from the Lion King during our introduction. You know I had to have a touch of humor in there. We then danced to "Feels Like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk, which is from the soundtrack to "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." It's a good one so if you aren't familiar with it, go look it up. It just reminded me that with our journey now, "home" is with each other. I've always felt at home with him no matter our location in the world.

Daddy & I danced to "Daddy Dance with Me" by Krystal Keith. If you don't know that song, look it up on youtube and listen. It's special and beautiful. Have a kleenex handy. I chose this one because I think that it represents our relationship especially him being "tender but tough" part in his parenting and my dad has always called me his "baby girl" since I'm the youngest child. It's a way of introducing a child in the South, this is my "baby girl" in lieu of "youngest child/daughter."