On HOW we do our jobs

I think when you work in the medical or health related field, you are made to be more mindful of your direct impact on patients. People usually are not in front of you when they are a picture of health or when their children are developing typically (in my case). I think we are mindful (though some aren’t) of our actions and how we present information to our clients or patients.

I know I’ve blogged on something similar before stating that no job is mundane and your job is your mission field. You can read that by clicking here. It’s good to remember that every job has an impact, and every job affects another or helps another [person in the forefront or direct care] do his or hers.

I was reminded recently of the fact that HOW you do your job is just as important as you doing your job. We are all connected and we all can have a positive impact on another. Maybe your mission today is simply that smile you give the person on the elevator that needs a small bit of encouragement as you take the elevator to your floor? Maybe you make eye contact with the person you pass on the sidewalk on the way to work who feels that no one sees her? Maybe buy the person behind you at Starbucks their coffee?

I was the recipient of simple “work place kindness” a few weeks ago. After much dreaming and thinking, I decided to open a side business to do speech therapy. Little did I know how confusing the process could be. I realized I needed a business license and I’m new to St. Louis so all the rules here are unknown and don’t make much sense yet. Mind you, I'm still in the learning phase in navigating my new city so my sanity lies in a delicate balance on a daily basis. any slight tip can cause mental catastrophes of various proportions. In order to not be caught off guard, I emailed back and forth with the city licensure office to find out exactly what needed to be done in order to get a business license. They electronically sent the required documents. Sweet, I printed and signed them and got all the necessary information. I ran into the city hall building to the office. This would only take a second because I was so prepared, right?

I through the door behind two other women who were there for other business (praying their business wouldn't take long as mine would just be a sec). One of them sat at the window/desk next to me while the other waited in the chairs that lined the wall. My clerk handed my papers back to me immediately after I handed them in and asked where my occupancy permit was. My what? I didn’t have a document for that. I said, “Oh, that, I probably don’t need it as I’ll be in homes working.” Nope, that didn’t fly. She then proceeds to tell me that I have a couple options: I could go the zoning committee office today in the off chance I can be seen or make an appointment that could take 4-6 weeks. WHAT?! It was like she was speaking another language. My brain could not compute - I think it was scared of that possible catastrophe. She walked away and the woman next to me leaned over to ask what my business was for. I hurriedly told her all the while thinking she was nosey. When the clerk walked back up to find me still wide eyed and dumbfounded, she started to repeat herself when the lady next to me said “I’ll help her.” I was more confused. The clerk gave her the side-eye and told me my options again and added “or you can go with Mrs. Dorothy.” I turned to look at the stranger behind me that had walked in with "Mrs. Dorothy" because I had no one else to turn to!! She just said, “Go with Mrs. Dorothy. Trust me.”

WHO IS THIS MAGICAL MRS. DOROTHY??!!

I sat by the door to wait for this mysterious woman to finish her business and went with her. What if this is a joke and she zip-ties me and locks me underneath city hall? We go up to the top floor and into this corner office: Business Assistance. She tells me not to do anything else without her and that she will go with me to any other offices. She tells me that she is going to walk me through every step of the way. I start to wonder how much this is going to cost. I sat at her desk looking around for a fee schedule. I then see several bible verses or messages of encouragement on her wall. Ah, I get it. I just breathe and relax in my chair. I felt cradled.  i exhaled for the first time since entering the building. Walking into the office at the exact moment as Mrs. Dorothy was no accident for me that day.

This service was free yet no one told me. NONE of the women in the office bothered to tell me there are offices like this to assist. Where is your sisterhood, people? I might have left that day defeated and very much delayed in my endeavor, but I didn’t. Mrs. Dorothy spoke up. Those three words, “I’ll help her” made all the difference during a week that felt overwhelming and challenging. It felt like she claimed me and made a choice to cover me in kindness. This advocacy took so little but had such an impact. I wonder if the disciples gave Jesus that same side-eye and raised eyebrow look when he spoke up for the disenfranchised, the weary, and margin-dwellers and said “I’ll help her.”  

I witnessed another person in the same position do the same job on another day with another person when I returned for my license. It was not the same -- same job but much different experience. He “did his job” but with many sighs, hurried questions, and exasperated tones. When I came back on this second visit, Mrs. Dorothy did most of the legwork running payments and applications around city hall while I waited at her desk. She waited with me until we got all the clearances and then walked me down to the licensure office to get my license. I loved watching Mrs. Dorothy’s interactions with others. She smiled, she was the first to speak and exchange niceties. There was a genuine quality to every single thing she did.  I walked out that day with my license in hand and yet another experience of walking with angels on earth.

Doing our jobs is important but how we do that job is equally as important. You never know your far reaching impact on another.

If someone makes an impact, encourage that person by sending a thank you card or telling him or her how much you appreciate the kindness. I sent Mrs. Dorothy a thank you note. I want her to know how much she meant to me and that I believe she walked in the door that day at the exact time that God meant for her to. She was my gift that day.

"So no matter what your task is, work hard. 
Always do your best as the Lord's servant, not as man's." 

Colossians 3: 23 (the Voice)

With love from a fully licensed business woman,

Danielle

Hey, hey! Time for an update!

Well, hello there! It has been a while, hasn’t it?

We’ve both been busy settling in to “the Lou” and finding our rhythms…..I thought an update was long overdue!

I’ve so missed this blog. I do not want to get back to the “single, party of 1” lonelier days but man did I have some serious time to think, think, think, and write, write, write. It was good for the soul. That’s one soul-care activity I desperately need to find time for again. We absolutely have to find time to lead ourselves and care for what we need to thrive. Right? Right!

As for me, I’ve been getting busier at Easter Seals Midwest. It has been a nice slow start building a case load and learning the ropes. I’ve done several evaluations and starting to provide some therapy. I’ve made several mistakes. Why do we initially go to “Maybe I’m not good enough” or “people are going to think poorly of me” when we make a simple expected mistake. I’m learning through this learning curve to be gentle and to extend grace inward. Starting over is hard. I’m so used to being “a big fish in a little pond” in terms of knowing things about work and having all the answers to feeling like a “drowning minnow” sometimes. I’m reminding myself to really feel this process and to appreciate the experience. Don’t get me wrong- I love the placement. I left a great group of co-workers back in California, but I was also welcomed in by a great group of co-workers. I’m appreciative every day of the professionalism, friendliness and knowledge of my fellow BCBAs. The rest of the staff is great too and truly care for the success of the clients. Another new part of this process for me is evaluating older clients (hence the steep learning curve). I’m assessing two clients now – both of them are in their late 20s.

As for Luba, he started a new job on July 1!! WOOT! It couldn’t be more perfect for him. He is working at the International Institute. It’s an agency that assists immigrants and refugees. It especially warms my heart as I had the chance to experience what this country offers refugees back in 2011 when I served CreateCommon Good in Boise, Idaho. So far, so good – he loves it. I’m so happy that he has been able to find a non-profit and one where he can connect uniquely with the ones served by it. We had learned about this organization by two different people in the same weekend (they didn’t know each other) so he hopped on to the website and found that they were hiring. 

As for us, we have been able to celebrate 3 birthdays so far! Finally, in one city! My birthday was in June and my sister and Luba celebrated July birthdays within a couple days of one another.  Two things: 1) you can tell who the photographer in the family is, and 2) I love cakes for birthdays. I did pick out a cannoli (with an appropriate candle) for myself but I love cakes for others. I believe everyone should have a birthday cake (or pie or whatever) for a birthday, with cheesy writing!

We have had two visitors since we moved. Jody visited us in May and the Diaz (April) family stopped in for a night during their move to Indiana. 

In June, I went back to LA for the GodChicks Conference. I go every year and its the single biggest event that feeds my soul. I take home so many nuggets of wisdom that I go back to throughout the year and years beyond. This year, I saw Joyce Meyer, Christine Caine, Holly Wagner, and Rich & DawnChere Wilkerson. I've already bought my ticket for 2016 - along with fave girlfriends. It was so great to reunite with friends- ones that went to the conference with me are my prayer posse. After the conference that Saturday night, I was able to meet up with my closest girlfriends for dinner.

 Joyce Meyer - going strong in her 70s!

 Can you believe I had written this in my journal one year earlier, at the same conference - this is the message I kept hearing all weekend whispered to me....it was true! 

 DawnChere Wilkerson

 Rich Wilkerson - I forgive you for befriending Kanye West

one of the best messages I have ever heard

 lunch with some of the strongest & bravest women I know

 Christine Caine

The conference was at the Dolby....the DOLBY! The Academy Awards are held at the Dolby Theater in the heart of Hollywood. No gold idols on this stage this weekend!

Socially, we are making some connections. Luba has met some South Africans and we’ve had a couple of dinners/lunches and plan to see them again. It’s nice to connect with South Africans for him and I get to live vicariously. Hearing them speak in Afrikaans takes me back to days in South Africa. They are the friendliest of people. 

A braai, in America!

We’ve been to 2 Cardinals games already. It’s so fun here! The ins & outs are so easy and it’s like a whole community there around the ballpark. There is not “right in for the game and right out after” like I’m used to. I’m learning about this whole “Cardinal Nation” business. And its serious business too. We went to games coincidentally that were against California teams – the Dodgers and the Padres.

I started a book club on meetup.com so that I could meet some gals that like to read and come from a variety of backgrounds. I had great luck in CA with meeting friends that way. I’ve met some really cool women so far. One of them had also gone through the same visa process as me so we hit it off immediately. What a strong connection we make through hardship, right? You cling to those who “get it.”

I'm looking for a new ENT so that I can get a check up this year. I had my thyroid checked as a routine ultrasound since I have 3 nodules living there...no big deal for now, but we will watch them. (yes, this is separate from my "neck testicle" I had removed) I met with the doctor for the results. None were found. What? Where in the hell are they? Oh well, still nothing to worry about. But, sitting across from this computer/desk is an all too familiar scene. 

It took me back to 2013, the beginning of my journey with the tumor I had removed. Each glance reminds me of life, of love, of tenacity, of faith, of healing. The list goes on. And to hear another physician say "You had that removed with NO damage whatsoever? No effects? It makes me giggle inside. It makes a warmth wash over me and I look above. I just bet God winked. No, I bet he got up off that throne and WOOPED or fist pumped (or some move we haven't learned yet but will be popular in a few years because he knows everything!)! A spiritual bond grew during that season that is indescribable. I need those moments because I forget sometimes that it even happened - what a recovery! I don't take one single moment for granted though as I'm able to continue on working and use my voice. 

I’m also unveiling a new project soon – a business. I’ll save the details for another post but it’s something I’ve always dreamed of but never thought I was ready for. So after some thinking, I figured WHY NOT! For now, I can dip my toes in the water to see how it goes and it gives me the chance to take care of myself (providing speech, extra cash) and see where this goes. I’ll never know if I don’t try, right? If I don’t believe in me, then no one will.  To be continued but here's a look at a business owner!

That’s about it for us for now. Keep in touch - we miss you!

Love,

Danielle (& Luba)

Love for my small town

As most of you know, I was born and raised in a very small rural town in South Mississippi. I’ve posted on this before here, and you know I “puff up” when others say negative things about my beloved home state. On several days throughout any given week, I miss so many aspects of that life.

This past week was one of those weeks. I ached for this tiny town and the people who will always be family, “my” community. The ache started from news of a terrible tragedy that took the life of one young man who was just starting out his adult life at school at Mississippi State University. I was heartbroken. I was heartbroken even though I do not know the family personally. See, that is the beauty of my home town. There is a connectedness. Everyone knows each other or “of” each other. You can identify a family by asking “Who’s your dad/mom?” We celebrate together. We mourn together. We raise each others’ children. When one child passes, we mourn as an extended family. I still feel connected although I am 2000 miles away on the opposite coast. After news was received of this loss, Facebook instantly filled with offerings of condolences and assistance to the family. Several people, whether friends, acquaintances or strangers to this family, changed their profile pictures to this image as a visual token of support and encouragement. 

Just the visual representation of seeing this picture all down my newsfeed made my heart both ache and swell with gratitude. I’m so thankful towns like this still exist. 

Thinking of this brought back memories that are always at the forefront of my soul. My first job was as a Speech Pathologist for that county's school district. I loved it. I loved every minute of my work day. I loved every child that passed my way. I loved the parents, all of who dropped off their children in our care and never second-guessed our intent or actions. We were figures in children’s lives whose parents demanded and expected to be respected. Some of the children at my schools came from modest to low income households. Some lived in houses that would rival a 3^rd world country. Lives were filled with hurt and need but also with love and respect. I always had prizes for good behavior and children could trade in a punched token “card” for any tangible prize or other options. Many of those children who were like an "underdog" in school chose each and every time the reward of eating with me at the “teacher table.” The tangible toys that they did not have at home or the special candy treats they rarely got were passed over. As I even say this, my eyes fill with tears as images of their little faces come so clearly. We ate together, often just the two of us, away from the other teachers and students. I loved laughing at Little “C” stick a chicken leg in her mouth, and I kid you not, pull it out as a clean bone.  One swoop. Little “W” would sit oh-so-close to me, our chairs touching, as we rolled up our rectangular shaped pizza and ate it with grease rolling down our hands. No words were even needed. Little “W” also “somehow” always won a quarter when he beat me in a speech game and I’d watch him toddle through the lunch line and buy an extra milk with it. I die. These are the greatest stories of my life. 

I can say with certainty that it was during that job that my destiny and identity of who I am was solidified. It was there than I began to see that while I cannot do everything, I can do some small things that have a ripple effect that I may never know. It was there that I had my “1 single moment.”  Much of who I am today and how I perform my job and various roles can be traced back to 1 single moment. I remember it as if it were yesterday, even though it was probably 13 years ago. I had completed one year of work and was disappointed having been denied admission to the Master’s program for Speech Pathology. I signed on for another year. It was at the beginning of that year that I walked into the front office to learn that the father of one of our school’s children had been killed earlier that morning. I was devastated when it was confirmed that it was the father of two of my precious clients (siblings). I wrote a card to the mother and I loved on the children more than usual. We played more games. We hugged more. At the end of the year, I asked the kids to recast their favorite events or memories from the year. My “1 single moment” came as Little “C” started to say, “You respected my Dad even though you never met him. You thought he was a great man and you could tell by how he raised me and who I am.” He was reciting, months later, the words that I had written to his mother. In response to the question of “What will you remember about this year,” this sweet boy answered “You were there when my Dad died.” 

“C” taught me so much in that 5 minutes. I was speechless. I realized my supernatural ability to make a mark on the world for the better by “seeing” one person at a time, for taking the moment to put the words in my head onto paper so that they could be read over and over again until they were memorized and internalized. Since that moment, I pass on thoughts that come to mind as encouragement. I know that in most cases I’ll never know their impact or ripple effects. I don’t need to know. “C” had already shown me that kindness matters, and I was lucky enough once to know it and that is enough. 

So, Lucedale, I grieve with you and the Barker family. 

To those children, teachers & parents at Rocky Creek & Benndale, thank you for making me "me." You taught me my greatest lesson. 

With gratitude,

Danielle

Mission: Workplace

As many of you know, I work with children with special needs as a Speech-Language Pathologist to help them learn language and communicate. I work in a clinic alongside other disciplines (OT, PT, ABA) to provide services for the children and their families. I've been at my job for almost 9 years so I have a pretty good "handle" on how things run and can think quickly on my feet based on my experience. Recently, we have been going through changes learning new funding sources and responding to changes in laws; therefore, we have all been on a learning curve. I try to help out whenever and wherever I can. I grew up with parents who owned businesses so I saw that it takes a "family" to keep it going. It's hard work. It's so much more beyond what any employee sees. That perspective has really helped me in my professional career to see beyond my needs as an employee on to what I feel will help my employer, co-workers and families. 

Recently, someone asked a harmless question to another person: Why is Danielle doing so many extra things?

My immediate "repeatable" reaction:

WHAT!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?

Then the following scrolled through my mind:

Is it not obvious the reason why?
It needs to get done.
It helps my boss who has become my mother away from home.
Because I'm able-bodied and can.
Because in the end, it somehow affects the families who I have been employed and "called" to serve.
Because I strive to do my best. Every day. In every situation.

I've thought of this one simple question for days.

Then I began to wonder....How do Christians view the workplace??

Church, to me, is like a fuel stop in my weekly journey. Sundays are rest days because they are easy days. I'm recharged and renewed on Sundays. I'm around others who think similarly to me, use the same lingo, etc. I live in a bubble on Sundays and I cherish it. It gives me strength. My soul overflows on Sunday.

The other 6 days of the week?? Tough. This is where ministry comes in. This is where I use the "fuel" from Sunday to charge though the rest of the week. The real test of faith to me is embedded deep in the trenches of my week, which is spent in the workplace.

People see God in me on Sundays. I'm energetic. I love to connect and have conversation. I serve in a visible ministry so people see me "doing" things. Do people see the God in me Monday through Saturday? Do people see God in you Monday through Saturday?

Granted, we ALL mess up. We have bad days. Your job is hard. My job is hard. It's emotional. It's exciting. It requires a ton of emotional energy. Sometimes I don't want to help someone when they need it because I just want to rest. I get tired of changing the toilet paper roll when someone else doesn't. I get it....but, perspective is key.

I believe we walk among angels and interface with them unknowingly, frequently. I believe that Jesus visits us at unexpected times through another person, in opportunities to serve "the least of these," those closest to his heart. In case you have not realized this, often the "least of these" are those that we typically would not readily approach or to whom we may not give a second glance. Personally, I do not believe Jesus chooses to "check up on me" in the form of a clean-shaven, well-dressed, middle-class person who is courteous and patient at all times when I'm well-rested, cheery, and oozing with my Southern hospitality. What would be the point in that?

Who are the "least of these" in your workplace? 

For me, it can be the families of children with autism or other disorder that come in emotional, with blood-shot eyes, tired, walking this journey of discovery and grief. There's often misplaced blame, anger, denial, gratitude, fear....all of which are manifested in a multitude of ways from person to person and circumstance to circumstance. Is it the parent to whom I have just given very delayed test scores? Is it the parent to whom I have just started the conversation of "Your child is not developing as a typical child and is showing signs of autism?"  Maybe it is my co-worker who made a sarcastic comment? Didn't finish a report? It's the children who have been entrusted in my care who are frustrated, may not speak with words but rather speak with behaviors (sometimes severe), and are looking to me for giving them a voice.

Can I grant all of the people with whom I interact the same amount of grace daily that I'm given continuously? Can I avoid keeping score and just do a menial task that is not "my job" because it needs to get done? Can you?

For me, it's all connected. All of the extra things I choose to do result in the families getting better care. Isn't that worth a few extra minutes to do something that I don't have to or that's not "my job?"

I know I have a very tangibly rewarding career. I see changes. I celebrate with families. Some of you may feel your job is mundane. Friend, it is not. It helps the rest of us do our jobs and do them well. You have a place, and your worth is tremendous. You must alter your perspective and see that. The insurance agent or coder who does not work directly with people may feel that the job is boring, mundane, unrewarding, but oh it is. Without his/her diligence, skill, and assistance, I cannot do mine.  The software engineer and computer technician? What would we do without you making our jobs run smoothly and efficiently? We are all connected.  We all have a job to do, and friend, God demands us to do it well.

"Surely, no matter what you are doing (speaking, writing, or working), do it all in the name of Jesus our Master, sending thanks to Him to God our Father."

Colossians 3:17 (the Voice)

"So no matter what your task is, work hard. Always do your best as the Lord's servant, not as man's." 

Colossians 3: 23 (the Voice)

Praying that you wake up energized and look forward to seeing new opportunities at your workplace tomorrow, 

Danielle 

confirmation....

Yesterday, I sent out a very personal blog post. I feel like I always have the angel and devil situated on my shoulders like you see in the cartoons. One whispers truths and one whispers lies, and unfortunately the lies are easier to attend to because you’ve already told them to yourself over and over in the past. As soon as I woke up, my first thought was “What the hell were you thinking by spilling your innermost thoughts, blasting them all over the internet to the whoevers in whereever-land?!” This came to me a few times as I was writing it yesterday too since I’m an introvert who gets grumpy when someone gets in my business when its not my idea or within my time frame to share that information.

On the way to work this morning, I was thinking about one of my loves at work and something that happened last week when I saw him. We played a game while working on our language skills to make it more enticing. Often games backfire as kids start to become competitive. I never let kids win since that is not “real life” for them so its all up to chance with the spinner as it would be with their friends. Well, “G” went first , counted spaces, and then made his way with his pawn to his designated spot. Then I went and scored a higher number and moved ahead of him. His face dropped. All he could see was what was immediately ahead and the fact that I passed him and he began to negotiate. I knew this was going to be a looooooong game! Then something I wasn’t expecting happened. When he took his turn, passed me, and put his pawn on his spot, he took mine and put it next to him. I asked why he did that because I hadn’t yet spun and he was ahead. He batted his long eyelashes and looked at me with his beautiful eyes, and he said “Because I love you and I want you to be right next to me.” He did this for every turn. He had no way of knowing that day how much I appreciated someone swooping me up and taking me alongside--even if during a silly game. Okay not a big deal in the grand scheme of things other than it melts your heart? Not for me. I spend a lot of time looking ahead at the obstacles in the immediate future, not considering the vastness ahead of those or even the finish line, and I’ve subsequently forfeited a few dreams. This was a loving reminder that I needed to spend more time “looking back” to appreciate how far I’ve come, provisions have always been made, and how I’ve been prepped for where I am now.

I was thinking of that this morning as I drove down the 22 headed for work while staring into a dismal horizon. The sky was an ugly blue, still sleepy with rain in the forecast. I glanced back in the rearview and my breath was taken away by the sun waking up and reaching over the mountains. The sky was all shades of orange and utterly amazing to see. Then, when I looked ahead, I began to notice that the back of the signs reflected the orange color as did the windows of tall office buildings. The light trickled ahead allowing me to see it in places that I would not have thought to look had I not seen the sunrise behind me. Yet another timely beautiful reminder.

I knew then that this was my confirmation for posting yesterday. The exposure and transparency of my story will help others check their “rearview” and look back in order to gain encouragement to look ahead again and continue pursuing their dreams, whatever they may be.