"Seeing" People

For a long time now, I’ve tried to see people. By “see” people, I don’t mean notice. I mean, really listen to their story to hear their emotion so that I can respond to it. That’s what we are here for, right? One another? Superheroes don’t exist because we do. We have a special power to “save the day” sometimes, but we have to listen and be keen to the spirit of a person.

I never thought about this until a few years ago. I’ll never forget the scenario. A group of us were on our way back from a trip. We were all a bunch of “good” people having just spent a week serving others and getting our hands dirty. We sat tired and hungry in a restaurant. We had great service. We had a great waitress who chatted with us for a bit. She talked of her twins at home. As we were about to leave, one friend asked if we could all write in a card to her [BTW, who carries notecards on them like a swiss army knife or chap stick?!]. We agreed in our confusion. What some of us didn’t “see” was this one friend asking questions to the waitress. We didn’t read between the lines in her answers. Our friend had a “hunch” and we all followed it. We wrote in and sealed the card and placed it with our bill. What happened next was a moment that has changed my daily life and prayer life to this day. The waitress was visibly overwhelmed with gratitude and shock. She added that she had been upset all day before coming to work. It was the anniversary of her mother’s death.

On a almost-daily basis my prayers include “Help me see people. Help me to hear the voice that cries out for that kind word, encouragement, or compliment. Help me hear a voice that desires to be celebrated. Give me the wisdom in responding.”

I love NewSong because each time something is on my heart, in an eerily cool way, it comes up as a theme. How to bless people (it’s really not that hard, y’all) has been a tool with which we have been equipped. It’s the easiest most powerful gift we possess.

Recently, I was the recipient of one of the greatest blessings I’ve known. I’m so thankful this woman went with her “gut.” It may have been the worst day I’ve known. I can’t think of another day that has hit me this hard. I got to work and then left 5 minutes later as a crumpled mess. I needed to be home to ride out the emotion. I decided to go to my “happy place” which is a Christian-owned spa that I love supporting (you know me and my love for mom & pop). Each time I go, the service and hospitality are both impeccable. My body just wanted to lie in the darkness, get some TLC, and listen to the old hymns by piano playing overhead. It’s a great place for me to be stripped (literally) to focus, process, and pray. I composed myself long enough to make the phonecall for an appointment. I was doubtful that any appointments were open as is usually the case last minute. I needed it NOW, not later this afternoon. I put on my fake cheery voice and dialed. Little did I know, a blessing (and miracle) were waiting on the other end of the line. I had no idea that I was about to get a big reminder from God that said “I’ve got this/you.”

Our phone conversation went like this:

Me: Do you have any appointments available today?

Male receptionist: Let me put you on hold for a moment. [weird, they have never put me on hold]

sure.

Woman receptionist: Hello! This is XXX. You want to come in today? [cheeriest. voice. ever]

Me: Yes. What time do you have?

Woman: 2.

Me: Great! [my "fake it til you make it" voice]

Woman: You know what? Something in your voice tells me that you need to come in ASAP. Let me check again.

Me: Ok. [don’t cry...don’t cry...don’t cry…]

Woman: How is 11:30? [ok, it’s 10:15 now] It is with the therapist you usually have.

Me: Perfect.

Woman: Have you ever tried our hydrotherapy baths? [at this point, I’m annoyed. I’m in NO mood for “up selling” but my dream has always been one of these baths but I’m too stingy to spend the money on top of a massage]

Me: No, I haven’t. No thanks.

Woman: How about this? Would it be okay with you if I book that for you prior to your massage and it be complimentary? I’d love to do that for you today.

Me: Sure! [keep it together…..]

Woman: Ok, can you come right now?

Wow! I’m not usually the recipient of such kindness. I was speechless. I ran out the door and to the spa. When I walked in, they immediately said “Hi Danielle.” They knew it was me. Sometimes, the best thing is someone saying your name because they know you. They see your identity. [Ok, so what that they knew me by blood shot eyes?!] I thanked the woman for her kindness. She just said, “That is why I’m here today. I could tell by your voice that you were sad” Now, I’ve never spoken to her or seen her. I did not recognize her at all. She walked me back even though I knew the way and the routine. She spent extra time with me, when it was unnecessary.  The bath was literally my idea of Heaven. It was detoxifying physically, emotionally and spiritually. I could write a whole post about the bath experience. It reached my core.

Later that afternoon, the spa called, which is something that they have NEVER done before. The guy told me that the person who booked my appointment was the owner and that she asked him to call to check on me. Again, a reminder. That day, she was not just a “spa owner.” She used what she had in her “tool box” to speak right down to the soul. It completely changed my day and helped me turn my outlook on some things around.

I believe fully that the Georgia school incident could have turned out differently if it had not been for the office staff “seeing” the shooter. I listened to the full 10-minute 911 call in tears. I could feel her courage. I could feel her love for life and people in the way she spoke to him. I know she was dying inside but she continued on and spoke out what he needed to hear.

See someone today. Act on a hunch. What’s the worst that can happen? Everyone could use a kind word. Show someone “the way” and spend more time with them even though they already know. Sometimes its the company, not the routine, that speaks.

Oh yeah...who carries notecards on them life a swiss army knife or chap stick? I DO!

Love,

Danielle

Hindsight

Recently, I was on a “life high” even though it was coupled with a very deep low. I was able to make sense of a lot of “things” and dreams were being realized, miracles were being witnessed, and I was on the cusp of such huge “life things.” I remember a friend’s daughter hit a low point and I emailed her to encourage her. I was walking through some significant issues but I was at a point where hindsight was on my side and was able to try and share what I had learned over the past few years. Even though events were painful and those events seemed to eclipse the joy every now and then, I could see how God had carefully orchestrated where I was to that point. I was coming to the end of a long long long waiting period. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I could almost touch the finish line.

I’ve come to realize that God only grants us the gift of hindsight. Being able to look in life’s rearview mirror is enough for me to trust that, although it is difficult, foresight is unnecessary when I fully trust that God’s plans for me are so much greater than I can even fathom. I probably wouldn’t even believe it anyway if I had a glimpse into the future. I was at a point where it was easier (it’s never easy, is it?!??) to recognize how smaller events and experiences made up the larger plan unfolding like all the essential border pieces of a puzzle that help you build your structure.

Then, I hit a bump in the road. I’m careful not to post too much about the visa process as it not only involves me and it’s not solely my story to tell. I’ll just say that the bump caused me to come to a screeching halt. Screeching as in feet in the ground AND screeching out of my mouth, screeching the unholiest of vocabulary. What. Happened. Excuse me, God, we were on the “downhill slide” so I thought.

I was back on the roller coaster again. I hadn’t asked to go on another ride but I found myself soaring through ups and downs and blasting through a range of emotions. “I got this. No biggie. I trust” quickly changed to “Oh #$% it’s not in me. I can’t. I’m exhausted.”  Luckily, some amazing support people started to move and intercede on my behalf. I couldn’t do it. But God could. They could. Slowly and surely, I was back up, broken but beginning to heal from disappointment, confusion, anger, fear, and the list goes on. I realized that I had to take a dose of my own medicine--heed my own advice. I looked back at the events that led me to today. We’ve literally witnessed miracles through this visa journey. We have favor. We have been spoiled by God’s goodness. This “obstacle” is another part of our story that must happen. It’s another “let this cup pass” moment, but I know it can’t. There’s more to our story, and I know another miracle must be around the corner. I’ve asked for it, and I’m expecting it.

Along with the gift of hindsight, I’ve been able to keep trudging through the thick of waiting because of a few recurring dreams I had. When I had them (4 total), I knew they were important and I knew they were for a future time. They all had different “settings” but the events were the same. In each one, I was at an intersection and a dark road lay before me. All of the other roads were light except the one that took me “home” or to my destination. I had to walk through darkness, unable to see obstacles and unrecognizable images who sought to distract me or persuade me from continuing to my destination. I could not see how far the road stretched. In none of the dreams had I ever reached my destination. In two, I woke myself up screaming, too fearful of what grabbed at me in the darkness. In one of the dreams (3rd), a presence stood next to me as I wearily faced yet another dark road. I was exhausted. I had enough energy to muster “Not again. Not another one.”  I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other to even face the daunting challenge. The “faceless” presence told me that He would give me a glimpse of what was at the end of the road but I could not see any of the road itself. I remember seeing myself and being astonished as I watched a playful version of me in a vast ocean. I had never seen myself so happy. I was laughing like a child and overcome with joy. When I got to this past disappointment, familiarity rose from the disbelief. I’ve been here before. I can’t and won’t see the road but I know I have to keep facing forward and walk at the pace with which I am able minute by minute. I know that this path will be somewhat forgotten when I reach my destination, and I know that acknowledging and feeling it right now are crucial to my/our story. I know there’s a joy that I’ve never known and a happiness that will be new that I will experience at the perfect time. 

As usual, this brings me back to Habakkuk 2:3, a verse that I recite to myself on a daily basis.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time;

    it speaks of the end

    and will not prove false.

Though it linger, wait for it;

    it will certainly come

    and will not delay.

Are you waiting for something?

Regarding the future, I bank on Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” When I need something tangible, I look in my rearview mirror.

Ever so grateful for my support "people"! You know who you are.

Danielle