Last time I posted, I indicated I’m on my medical journey
which is really bringing my “theme of the year” to its fullest potential (freedom, through vulnerability).
It feels like every time I turn a corner, I’m slapped in the
face by some disappointment or dead end. But also, every time this happens, I feel caught by a soft net intricately woven with prayers, tears, hope, grace, and the Holy Spirit.
There’s some word of encouragement, email, gift....something to remind me that I’m
not in this alone.
I got denied my requested 2nd opinion at UCI this
week, which was my biggest prayer request “of the moment.” There was not any
reason for it, other than cost I’m sure. I was devastated (still am). I frantically
called my insurance group and the parent company. After 2 hours on the phone, I
just didn’t have anything left in me. I came home and ate (thank God for Luba
and his willingness to cook) and then opened up my Beth Moore study’s workbook.
The first thing I laid my eyes on was one of my favorite verses that had been
buried in the back of my mind somewhere:
The sigh of relief came. A simple reminder. I could rest my
spirit.
This week was full of surprises from Luba’s sweet gifts and generosity
to a very sweet card with a favorite lotion attached at work from an anonymous person (who are you?).
Luckily, each day I have had just enough “fight” in me to press on with what I need to do. I was reminded of this in last week’s study (Beth Moore) in regard to the Israelites in the wilderness. They were given manna when wandering through the wilderness but it was given according to need. None could be “stored up” or saved for another day. They gathered what they needed day by day. God’s grace is given according to need. It’s been a lesson for me to focus on “daily” and not work ahead. I've panicked many times but now realize that I have "just enough" every single day, even when the night before I'm at a loss and thoroughly exhausted and bone-dry. I’m realizing how little control I have in life although I’ve been deceived for a while in believing I’d been successful in this.
Luckily, each day I have had just enough “fight” in me to press on with what I need to do. I was reminded of this in last week’s study (Beth Moore) in regard to the Israelites in the wilderness. They were given manna when wandering through the wilderness but it was given according to need. None could be “stored up” or saved for another day. They gathered what they needed day by day. God’s grace is given according to need. It’s been a lesson for me to focus on “daily” and not work ahead. I've panicked many times but now realize that I have "just enough" every single day, even when the night before I'm at a loss and thoroughly exhausted and bone-dry. I’m realizing how little control I have in life although I’ve been deceived for a while in believing I’d been successful in this.
This is what the Lord has commanded: ‘Gather of it, each one of you, as much as he can
eat. You shall each take an omer, according to the number of the persons that
each of you has in his tent.’” 17 And the people of Israel did so. They gathered,
some more, some less. 18 But
when they measured it with an omer, whoever gathered much had nothing left
over, and whoever gathered little had no lack. Each of them gathered as much as
he could eat.
Exodus 16: 16-19
Exodus 16: 16-19
While “waiting” through the insurance and
journey to health, I’ve been able to have some fun with concentrating primarily
on wedding planning!
Today, I was fitted for my dress. Luckily,
it still fits after hanging in the closet for almost a year!
Luba & I have also gotten out to enjoy the
beach. The vastness and freshness of the ocean is truly one of the best medicines.
Please keep me in your prayers. Feel free
to email me for specifics. I’m so thankful for you and your support. You keep me a-float!
Love
Danielle
