The magic month + year: December 2013

Since adoption has moved for the forefront of my mind, I’ve been a planning machine. I hate long range planning but with such a goal, it has become more palatable. Each time I'm exhausted and ready to slip, I see a face in my head and am reminded that this hardship is temporary and will be oh-so-worth it.

There are a few goals that I have, and if I’m intentional and expectant, I will conquer them by December 2013:

1) Pay off all debts.

2) Finish my coursework and 1500 hours toward becoming a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA). The exam will be a different story....

3) Begin the paperwork for adoption.

So, feel free to keep those things top in your prayer list, on your mind, in the midst of your karma-sending, whatever it is that you do.

I’m continuing to pad the adoption fund with money gained through recycling and a monthly deposit. My first priority is debt repayment as everything else hinges on that. I’m learning to budget better. I’m enrolled in Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, which was a gift of good timing through NewSong Church. If I really buckle down, repayment by December 2013 is a possibility. If I don’t make it for some reason, I should be paid off within a very short time after that date.

 

Most of you know I work 4 10-hour days with children with disabilities. By Thursday night, I’m burnt toast. I’ve now added Fridays. The extra hours will be beneficial in two ways. For one, they provide the hours to go toward my required 1500 hours. Secondly, all of a “second paycheck” goes toward debt repayment. That makes it easy—no budgeting, no questions, straight to the account. 

Why add a new stress or obligation (BCBA) to an already-full and overflowing plate? I want to be better in serving the families and children with whom I work. Professionals tend to be either Speech or ABA, and since they are so intertwined, I’d love to be both. It would also put me in a handful of people who have these certifications or licensures. Because I already have a M.A. in a related field, I can take 5 additional classes (which I’m doing online through the University of North Texas) and get 1500 supervised hours of experience in behavior-related work. What is a BCBA? Find out here. 

So, if you see me at any time within the next months up to December 2013, I apologize ahead of time for being the walking dead. My memory is already shot. I’m narcoleptic—I’m asleep as soon as I sit down, sometimes before I can roll over and hit the sleep timer. 

I’m so thankful for those of you who continue to support me and my dreams of adoption. Please feel free to direct any comments or words of encouragement to the comments section of the blog. One day, I’ll turn this blog into a book for “Shorty.”

At an Easter brunch with the MOM’s group, we had several stations to show thanks, prayer, etc. One activity was to write a word or draw a picture of something that you are thankful for on a rock. Here’s mine:

 

A passage and verse in particular came to mind:

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3. 

As David, who wrote this, knew:  Waiting is hard but blessings follow. 

You guys are my rock.

Thank you, thank you, thank you,

Danielle

Project: Redemption

I sit here on Easter, my favorite holiday, in awe of the people that have built a community around me on the pre-adoption journey. I posted a few blogs ago about my village that is living intentionally with me. It continues to grow. I continue to be blessed. People continue to use their gifts to contribute in a variety of ways. God continues to whisper messages of encouragement and has become my biggest cheerleader [with my mother being 2nd].

I'm more humbled because I realize: this is just the beginning.

As I've mentioned before, my first priority is to kick my debt's ass this year. I'm focused. My job is to put every penny I can into that direction. In the meantime, God fills my adoption fund little by little. We're double teaming--as long as I do mine, He does His.

I'm a paycheck to paycheck person sticking everything left over toward debt repayment, most of which is from graduate school. Who knew it'd cost so much to be this smart?!?! I am enrolled in the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University and have been working on a budget, etc. as part of the class. I noticed that last month, I somehow, paid an extra $800 toward my debt in addition to my usual $1200 payment. How'd that happen?!?! I do remember saying a VERY lengthy prayer begging that my money be stretched in a way that is unfathomable to me. Maybe God answered that one before the short one begging to win the lottery. Everything seemed to be going along in line with my financial "norm." Anyway, noticing that error felt good ,and I was accidentally one step closer.

How is recycling going, you ask? So far, it has added $166.99 to the fund since the end of January. Along with gifts and my own monthly contribution, the "Get Shorty" fund has $704.49 in it. All the while, I've been blessed and confirmed in random ways.

One incident (that I know isn't merely coincidence) that stuck out was a friend's contribution of two LARGE bags of plastic bottles and aluminum cans. One was so big that it wouldn't even fit in the trunk. After I left recycling and went to brunch on Friday, I saw and thanked this friend again for the two bags. She said that her husband brought one of the bags home. At work, someone was loading his truck and could not fit everything in and asked her husband if he could leave the bag of recycling there for him to deal with. That bag, along with another bag she brought, were the two that put me over the edge for money earned that day.





I've loved this project for so many reasons. It has been humorous as I've made my way to the recycling center in Santa Ana weekly during the morning commute traffic on the 55S on Friday mornings. I can feel the stares of the people in the cars beside me as I dare not look anywhere but straight ahead. This past Friday was the best. I had my back seat full, my trunk so full that I had to sit on it to close it, and my passenger seat full with 3 bags. My purse had to sit in my lap between my person and the steering wheel because there was no room....anywhere! I drove through Chick-fil-A for a burrito and ate it en route to the recycling center. I'm sure the man in the truck next to me on the on-ramp thought I was a pig AND a hoarder.

the backseat


the front seat

Again, thank you everyone for your contributions whether it be recycling, donations, words of encouragement, advice, or connections with another person.

Love, Danielle

Happy Easter

This is my favorite week of the year--a week of reflection before my favorite holiday [Easter].

Recently, I started reading “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” as part of the Mom’s group I attend [yes, even though I’m not a mom]. The book has been informative yet dry for me. I have found it somewhat boring and I have not really appreciated it. Until today. I realized that a few weeks ago, I was receiving messages that would carry me through some upcoming difficult times. And then those times hit.

I was created a people-pleaser. I was groomed to “do good” and be the best I can be while doing it. I love helping others. I give 150% at work and in play. I do things for the right reasons even though I sometimes make mistakes. The best lesson my daddy (remember I’m Southern and we proudly say “daddy”) taught me is: Never look at WHAT someone did, look at WHY they did it. You can imagine how hard it hit when my character was attacked recently. It’s happened in a few significant situations over the past month and a half. It’s hard when not everyone has that simple nugget of wisdom that my daddy instilled in me at a young age. I felt violated, betrayed, bewildered and physically unsafe. In turn, the anger became overwhelming. The verse that I keep reciting to myself is Exodus 14:14: The Lord will fight for you - you need only to be still.

One night when sitting on my bed partying [pity partying, that is], entrenched in quite a few “head shaking” and “expletives shouting” moments [Sorry, cover your ears/eyes God], it hit me. I ran to get my “Emotionally Healthy” book and instinctively, I knew exactly where to turn. I re-read the chapter on where Jesus was questioned. In doing right, he disappointed so many.

He disappointed family members.

He disappointed friends.

He disappointed the disciples.

He disappointed [and regularly rebuked and pissed off] the religious leaders.

So...I’m in good company.

The timeliness of my “situations”make this week even more reverent as I reflect upon the meaning of this week and Good Friday.

When I think of Good Friday and the crucifixion, the following words come to mind:

suffering. unjust. undeserved. cruel. dark. punishment. tears. loneliness. pain. sadness. horror. ridicule. betrayal. separated. broken.

It had to happen to complete the unfolding story. It would become a part of so many others’ stories.

Within recent situations, I felt those same words on a personal level.

And then, I’m reminded. Beyond their limited perspective, on the horizon, would be: resurrection. The following words come to mind:

celebration. hope. light. justice. goodness. redemption. healing. joy. warmth. reconciliation. strength. vision. grace.

Within other recent situations, I have also felt these words on a personal level.

So on this Easter, bask in your pain. It has to happen to complete YOUR unfolding story. It’s also a part of someone else’s. Feel it, every part of it. Decide how to use it. Who needs to hear your story? Share it, ALL of it, uncensored. Know that in the near future, a resurrection is coming. There will be celebration. Joy will be abundant. Redemption will come.

Happy Easter with love,

Danielle