Antiracism resources

Hello there!

Some have asked for resources to explore to learn more about race, white fragility, white supremacy and reconciliation. I’ve compiled a list below that have been recommended to me primarily by people of color, Christian bloggers working within racial reconciliation (and who have Black sons) or those from an education/research background. Some of them I’ve read and some are on my “to read” list. I would recommend looking at a few and just start somewhere. Pick a book and start. I challenge you not to put it down when it makes you angry or when you feel offended. This is where I sit and explore (easier said than done). I know that something has triggered me so I think through it, talk about it with someone, pray about it and pause from reading more. Ultimately, it tends to be something within me that needs to be changed or softened and a new perspective is to be yielded. 

If you’re Christian, I hope you will pray for an open mind and heart before you start reading or listening and listen to where God works within you. I challenge you to resist your mind responding with excuses. This is a holy space meant for reconciliation and human connection. I’m going to embed links on the titles, authors or organization pages to make your research a little easier and save time so you can get started with your journey!

I'm going to make this a page on the blog and will add to it as I learn more resources so please check back any time! This is heavy with African American resources but I will be added more as I get recommendations from trusted resources. 

Books:

• Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America by Michael Eric Dyson (this was a hard read for me and several times I wanted to toss the kindle out the window, I hung in there and learned so much “why” behind some African American perspectives that I never understood)
• Just Mercy By Bryan Stevenson 
• Stamped from the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi 
• Stamped: Racism, Antiracism and You by Ibram X. Kendi (young adult version)
• How to be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi
• The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander 
• Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Daniel Tatum
• Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates
• White Fragility: Why It's so Hard for White People to Talk about Racism by Robin DiAngelo
• Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla Saad 
• Blind Spot: Hidden Biases of Good People by Mahzarin R. Banaji

Christian Books:

• Be the Bridge by Latasha Morrison 
• Image Bearers: Shifting from Pro-Birth to Pro-Life by Herbie Newell 

Podcasts:

• 1619
• Good Ancestor (Layla Saad)

Instagram accounts to follow:

@westoriesSTL

@ibramxk

@splcenter

@blackcoffeewithwhitefriends

@theconsciouskid

@blackparentmagazine

@latashamorrison

@austinchanning

@lisasharper 

@beabridgebuilder 

@dranitaphillips 

@sincerely.lettie 

Programs for learning:

• We Stories (now has a national cohort for the first time! Wonderful site to explore resources and research)

St. Louis resources:

• We Stories
• Stop the Bleed 
• Racial Violence Archive 
• St. Louis Area Council on Restorative Justice
• St. Louis Story Stitchers
• Women's Voices Raised 
• YWCA Witnessing Whiteness Program
• Forward Through Ferguson
• Arch City Defenders

Other ideas for growth and learning about diversity:

• Celebrate heritage months or festivals in our city or neighboring city or at museums
• (children) Check out books at the library about other cultures during those months or around holidays like Chinese New Year, Hanukkah, or Black History Month. You can get reading suggestions from sites such as The Conscious Kid , A Mighty Girl or We Need Diverse Books 
• Read through Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh
• Equal Justice Initiative 
• Black Lives Matter  -you can find action steps to take here to petition or contact Representatives 
• Grab book ideas from the Antiracist Book Festival 
• Start a book club with close friends that will let you process in a safe space and choose one of the books or discuss a podcast over wine or coffee 

Enjoy!

Dear George Floyd....

Dear Mr. Floyd,

A few days ago, you were known by your family, friends and community. Today, you are known all over America and probably all over the world. We all know your name. So many are making sure your name is spoken and remembered. Your name is shared across social media, across political parties, across religious affiliations. More people are asking questions, asking how to partner with Black brothers and sisters, and seeking education. Conversations have begun, because of you. But, it shouldn’t have had to be because of you, because of the loss of you, because of your family’s loss, because we have added you to a list of names of Black men and women unjustly taken.

I’m a White woman that you’ll never know. I’m married to a Black man and have an amazing biracial daughter. I am so proud of our family we have created. It’s rich in culture and love. I grew up in rural Mississippi and went to school with so many African American classmates that I adored. I’m sad to say, however, that I really didn’t know them in the way they should have been known. We didn’t have mixed birthday parties, church services, dinners out, etc. I’m not calling fault out in the past, but I’ve learned we must do better to know each other so that we can better be accountable for each other. I had always had good intentions and never considered myself to possess racist ideals, but that’s how a lot of white people feel I guess. I know now that good intentions are not enough, and we don’t know what we don’t know which keeps us entrenched in our limited perspectives. Good intentions are not even a start. I have surrounded myself as much as possible with people of color in friendship, and I’ve learned and am learning so much. I’m unlearning a lot of things as best I can, and it’s hard work but I know it’s a fraction of your hard work. It is not my friend’s place to teach me what I should know; it is my own responsibility to learn. We can’t truly ever understand life for people of color, but we can learn more of their struggles as we listen. We can see their hesitance, exhaustion, disappointment, and as we begin to love them and truly know them, then we begin to see what we could not have seen before. We too regularly see another piece of soul chipped away with another Black death.

For me, I have never had to think of safety, really, as I go about my daily life. I am hyper aware in some surroundings because I’m a woman aware of statistics for assault, but I’m not worried about doing daily mundane things. My husband and I moved to St. Louis in 2015 shortly after the Michael Brown case when racial tensions were still high. I’ll admit- when those protests happened, I was pretty planted in white ideals and privilege although I didn’t realize it or know it had a name.  My husband answered a lot of questions (and was very patient), and I continued to argue my mindset because it made sense to me and my intentions were good. I was not a racist. I felt like I had not contributed to white supremacy because I treated everyone the same, but as I would learn, that’s the biggest problem. I was unknowingly complacent. Because I didn’t see it firsthand, it didn’t make sense to me. I never realized advantage I had being born as a white person in America because I never had to tangibly exercise it – my existence was enough. I needed some shifts in thinking. I needed more experiences, more stories from people. As I navigated our new city, I began to ask more questions, read more books, subscribe to more podcasts, and follow more diverse Instagram accounts. I knew it began to make sense when I didn’t want my husband doing some of the things I did on a daily basis. I would, with no hesitation, hop in the car at 9PM with a broken taillight and run to CVS. When he volunteered to go, then my mind shifted to “Well, it can wait until tomorrow.” I was terrified of him being pulled over. We live in a wealthy neighborhood and I can dart through the alley to one street over where my sister lives to borrow something, but I would recommend that he drive to do the same. Don’t get me wrong, we have a great neighborhood filled with nice people. But, the discomfort there or worry began to rise and started to yell in my ear and it could not be ignored. I should not have to feel this way. I can do these things with no worry at all, but I hesitate to send my husband out. He knows the rules, the code. He’s the sweetest, gentlest, kindest, softest spoken man I know, and I think everyone would agree that has met him. And I still get scared of a stranger confronting him who does not know these things. I know all these things are old news to you, Mr. Floyd. You have seen this contrast since you were young. Your parents probably explained all this to you at a young age, as I’ve learned most African American families do. My worry, that emerged when I began to understand and see more, is a worry your parents have harbored their whole lives.

So Mr. Floyd, I had vowed to do better for my family and learn more. My daughter, before she was even 3, had identified as brown. She openly talks about skin color and states proudly that she has brown skin. She identifies with her father more, with the dark eyes, curly hair and dark skin. I owe it to her to talk about race openly and to ensure that she has a voice that is used kindly and justly. Then your story came along. I already felt a heightened obligation to learn more after the murder of Ahmaud Arbery, and your death was yet another catalyst.  I say all this to promise you, a stranger, that I’ll do better and continue to learn. I’m going to write your name and so many others inside my Bible. I want to remember your names as I go to scripture for guidance. I want to be reminded that we are all created in the image of god so your faces come alive as I read.  I’ll see your name as I’m reminded that God calls us to work toward justice and reconciliation. I have a long way to go in my journey, but I am in a posture of humility and learning. I’m also going to share resources with friends so that it’ll be easier for them to pick up one to get started. I know that your Black brothers and sisters are tired. You’ve needed us as white allies and we haven’t understood or acted based on what we have learned or seen in media.

I will always remember your last words of “I can’t breathe.” I know you were speaking not only of the physical pain of the moment but also the ongoing pain of Black men and women suffocating in injustice.

Rest in peace, George Floyd.

Danielle

Reading through Quarantine : book recommendations

Hello!

I get asked a lot for book recommendations, especially lately because I’ve been blowing through books during the quarantine period. My goal for the year is to read 30 books and I'm at 27. You can always see what I recommend by browsing the list on the book recommendations page by clicking HERE. I’ll make sure it stays updated. They are loosely categorized.

Here are the books I’ve read so far this year, starting with the most recent and moving backward. I'm adding a few thoughts below each and highlighting my favorites! As you will see, anything by Lisa Jewell is what I call "an easy beach read" because of the suspense. Some of hers are better than others but if I don't have anything to read and I'm recovering from a heavy read, then I just pick one of hers that I have not read yet. 

Erotic Stories for Punjabi Women by Balli Kaur Jaswal

• I cackled and guffawed my way through this book - I think more so as I imagined these women reading and writing these stories
• warning: there are erotic stories in there but it wasn't trashy 
• There is a story line but the widows' naughty stories made it worth it 
• As someone from book club said, this would be a perfect book to listen to on audible!

Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America by Michael Eric Dyson

• This is a tough read. It's in your face. It challenges "whiteness" and white privilege.
• I found myself wanting to close it, put it down or chuck it - all of which reminded me that I need to sit in those spots and dig through what made me angry or "offended" and that would be a starting point for questions 
• It explains a lot and is a great resource if you'll finish it but also listen throughout it 

American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins

• This will probably be its own blog post. I had mixed feelings about reading this due to the controversy of someone not Latinx writing the stories of those feeling from Mexico and Latin America. 
• It was hard to read because I know these real stories are so much worse. It was hard to read because I know people who made this journey. 
• More later in a post but know that this view is limited and may not be the right voice to convey the intent of this book. 

The Testaments (The Handmaid’s Tale #2) by Margaret Atwood

• This is a sequel to Handmaid's Tale. It's short and easy. It is not as gruesome or disturbing as HT.
• You get "the rest of the story here" and find out more about the women of Gilead. 
• it provides some "closure" for those who read HT

The Elephant Whisperer: My Life with the Herd in the African Wild by Lawrence Anthony

• I loved this book, but warning: I've recently become obsessed with elephants (since reading "Leaving Time" by Jodi Picoult)
• I love reading of the South African adventures and the stories of the elephants. 
• You can follow Thula Thula on instagram to keep up with the reserve and all the elephants! Or you can visit there!

The Book of Lost Friends by Lisa Wingate

• Same author as "Before We Were Yours," one of my all time favorite books

Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman

• a beach read - nothing remarkable or life changing but an easy read to fill in between heavier topics
• psychological fiction 

Know My Name by Chanel Miller

• memoir by the woman who was assaulted by Brock Turner (Stanford swimmer)
• one of the books I'd highly recommend for everyone to read, especially young high school and college men
• we all hear about victim blaming and shaming - she teaches you what that is through her eloquent writing style and honesty 

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

• poetic writing that felt like reading art
• The book is a letter from a son to his mother who cannot read
• his family came to the US as refugees after the fall of Saigon 
• it explores race, class and masculinity 
• In "real life," Ocean Vuong discovered fairly recently who his grandfather was (an American in the US Navy served in Vietnam who fell in love with a Vietnamese farmgirl) 

I Found You by Lisa Jewell

• beach or pool side read 
• suspenseful "enough" - not one of my favorite Lisa Jewell books 

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

• YES! Loved this memoir. I'm amazed at how she navigates her family through difficult issues and life changes
• this book screams freedom for so many people 
• this is my favorite book by her

Once More We Saw Stars by Jayson Greene

• memoir of a father who lost his toddler to a freak accident 
• it was recommended online but it was not my favorite memoir (which made me feel bad considering the topic)

How to Talk so Little Kids will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 by Joanna Faber

• I thought this book would give me some new tricks in my toolkit for work - it reinforced what I already utilize
• a good book for new parents or parents who are more authoritarian in their approach 

An Anonymous Girl by Greer Hendricks

• another suspense 
• another beach or poolside read 

Fly Away (Firefly Lane #2) by Kristin Hannah

• another eyeball cleanser - this is a follow up to Firefly Lane so read that one first 
• slow in some places but I really enjoyed it 

Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity and Love by Dani Shapiro

• this was a book club pick and gave us a lot to talk about 
• memoir 

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

• this has been on my "to read" list for a long time
• I think it's considered young adult but it is a step into learning about race relations 

When We Believed in Mermaids by Barbara O’Neal

• this had a lot of stars on prime reading and I could read it for free so I did!
• it's an easy read but is nothing earth shattering
• "meh"

Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult

• I looked for another Picoult book right after finishing "A Spark of Light" because I love how she develops the story in books and includes many different perspectives; however, this was not that sort of book
• I loved this book and it ignited an obsession with elephants in the book! I knew she had done her research so I read some of the things she recommended included "The Elephant Whisperer" previously in this list 
• It has a twist and that twist may make this book "not for everybody" - you'll like it or not like it. 

A Spark of Light by Jodi Picoult

• LOVED this book! I highly recommend it! 
• It deals with the topic of abortion and the majority of the book is centered around an abortion clinic and the characters in/out of that clinic regarding one day when there's a shooting there 
• I appreciated hearing the backstories and how each person came to their perspective on abortion and then how some of the characters tied together 

The Overdue Life of Amy Byler by Kelly Harms

• Another free one from amazon prime reading with great reviews
• funny light read and nice break between the heavier books 

The Family Upstairs by Lisa Jewell

• suspense ful
• beach/poolside read 

The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman

• book club pick 
• I loved this book! It was quirky and light and I especially enjoyed it having lived in LA and recognizing some of her stops

UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World by Michele Borba.

• not a page turner but I'm glad I read it. 
• I was interested in reading some of the research and approaches in public schools to broach empathy

The House We Grew Up In by Lisa Jewell

• not one of my favorite Lisa Jewell books but an easy read

Give Your Child the World: Raising Globally Minded Kids One Book at a Time by Jamie C. Martin

• loved the resources in this book! We have gotten several books from the library based on various countries 
• If you are a parent or teacher of some sort, it is great to have a hard copy of this book to use as a resource 

Hope you find something that suits you!

Happy Reading!

Danielle