FAQs

Many of you have asked questions regarding this whole process and if I have somewhat of a timeline so I thought I’d just make a post that answers the FAQs I’m getting. Feel free to add additional questions in the comments if I missed something. I’m sure someone else wants to know too, but I think I’ll hit the major ones.

When will I have my Shorty?

Well, I’ve designated 2012 and some of 2013 as the prep years before even applying. I want to make sure I have myself in as good of a spot as I can be before adding another responsibility to the pot. I wish I could do it now, as in right this second, but it wouldn’t be best.

What does prep year entail?

• Paying off debt, first and foremost—I owe around $25k (ouch, I know) now for school loans and debts accrued while working for free during my year of internships. This is half of what it was 2 years ago, so I haven’t done to shabbily so far. I wish there was an easy fix but it is what it is and I’m working hard to tackle this sometimes frequently suffocating number. I’m trying to get some extra hours at work, and all of that income will go toward debt reduction. So far, the lotto hasn’t been interested in my magic number to pay off. If I stay on track, I’ll be paid off December 2013. The other overwhelming part? Just as I pay off that number, I’ll have to make sure I save a similar amount. [gulp]
• Changing financial habits—I’m enrolled in Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (highly recommended to anyone and everyone, especially teens and early 20s). I’m also learning to reduce what I think I need, use what I have, and borrow from others. I’m learning to stretch out dollars at the grocery store and meal plan for a week instead of buy what I think is a list of staples (that I never end up eating).
• Researching adoptions, agencies, and countries—Thank God for the “good side” of the internet. I’m connected with so many online families and single who have adopted and are willing to give me the “ins & outs.” I’m able to research agencies and find out from others which ones have good reputations. Where there is poverty, there is corruption. I’d hate to know I didn’t have a legitimate adoption. Sometimes I read until I can see anymore. It’s exhausting and it has only just begun.
• saving money specifically for adoption—Anything earned from babysitting or recycling goes straight into the designated adoption fund. It’ll grow slowly but that is okay. Once I begin the process, I can be more creative with fundraising and apply for grants.
• surrounding myself with fabulous moms—I’m part of Mom’s Ministry at NewSong and attend the Village (group of families who have adopted and/or fostered). I also have plenty of Mom-friends. To top if off, I have a great mom of my own and fantastic sister who “moms” 3 kids. What better role models can one have from whom to learn?!
• praying—I pray for vision, discernment, and a miracle! I know this is my story so I know the resources will be available as they are needed. It doesn’t mean it isn’t overwhelming or that I sometimes don’t wonder what in the crap I’m doing. If any situation has ever demanded some serious praying, its this one!

When will I apply?

Mid-to-late 2013. One of the first steps is to have a home study completed. By that time, I need most of my debt paid for security and because I’ll have to move into a new place with 2-bedrooms to show I have space. This will suck up a lot of money that I can be using for debt payment so I want to postpone that toward the end of repayment so I’m not wasting money in a wasted space. I still have some questions about that part of things so it’s a bit hazy. I’m trying to take it one day at a time since 2012 is ALL PREP.

International or domestic?

My heart is in international. My heart is in Africa. However, if the situation presents and is right, I would do domestic adoption or foster-to-adopt. I’m open but I’m leaning toward international because the desire has been there since an early age.

What country?

I’ve narrowed down the continents but that's about it—Africa. For some reason, I’ve been drawn to the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). Again, I’m open, but this a country I’m researching now. The weight of the debt gives me quite some time to keep researching and feeling it out.

Why DRC?

DRC is one of the poorest countries in the world. It has an 80% unemployment rate. Millions of children are orphans as a result of a nasty civil war. Many orphanages are overflowing and some can allow provide one meal per day. It is reported that the sexual violence against women and children is the worst of anywhere in the world.

Boy or girl?

I said I never wanted girls. Remember my little game with “I nevers?” Well, I want a girl. For an international adoption, this means a lot. After reading and researching about women across the world and their risk of being raped, sold into human trafficking, or having to resort to prostitution to make ends meet, my heart broke for the girls. These “adult” issues happen to children. Children as young as 5 are sold or turn to prostitution. While I don’t believe adoption “saves” children and Americans “rescue” them, these statistics influence my choice for adoption.

Is my family supportive?

This is NEW territory for them, God help them. I don’t know anyone in my family who has adopted or has been adopted. My parents have always been supportive of my dreams, and I’ve made it this far in life fairly unscathed so I seem to be okay in decision-making so yes, they have faith. Even though they won’t say it, I’m sure they are confused by this desire and worry about the weight of a “transracial” family. Having a kid is hard enough, especially if single, and then top it off with transracial sprinkles of all-sorts-of-issues-we-can-never-anticipate.They also know that I've never done things the way everyone else has. They've had 35 years of seeing this. =)

How can you help?

Continue to save up and give me your recyclables. Again, here are the things that I take:

• Plastic bottles for water, Gatorade
• Jugs for juice or water—even if not CA CRV
• Plastic or colored plastic containers for detergent or soap
• Milk jugs even though not CA CRV
• Glass jars
• Wine bottles
• Newspapers
• Tin cans—soup cans
• Aluminum cans—sodas, beer

Which ones are the most lucrative?

CA CRV plastic bottles and aluminum cans

Give the recyclables weekly or save them up and give them when there's a larger amount?

Whatever works for you! I can take them weekly so you don’t have a pile in your garage or you can give them when you get a good pile

Let me know if you have other questions. I’m keeping with my themes:

Be intentional. Be expectant.

I’m being intentional in every aspect of this prep phase and I’m expectant of resources to be provided and miracles to be revealed.

I bought these charms for my necklace as a reminder for this whole process.

The small print on the charm to the left says: "Be willing to believe in the impossible."

Love,

Danielle