Here’s a loooooooong overdue update!
First of all, thank you so much for your generous support and donations! Of my personal goal of $765, I’ve raised $640. The team as a whole has surpassed our goal of $4865 so we are set!! We are humbled by your generosity.
As the date draws near to leave (tomorrow!), I reflect on how much “missions” has personally changed my life and that makes me excited for what this trip has in store!
I think the best change has been the many lessons on being transparent and vulnerable to others -- not only to my supporter community, teammates, family, and friends but also to everyone whose paths cross mine. The hardest part, however, is not being vulnerable to others but to myself. In that capacity, I’ve learned how to maintain a more obedient posture and to listen to that quiet voice that seems to come only when on one’s knees--the voice that encourages us to expose what has been so intricately hidden and disguised so that we can connect with others in a way beyond our imagination and sometimes comfort level -- a connection through pain that ultimately creates beauty and activates love.
I’ve learned to use whatever time/phase with which God has entrusted me. For now, it is a season of singleness. I never imagined to be in this season for so long and there’s a lot I could say but that’d take up too many blog posts. I’m happy I’ve always clung to that voice that has reminded me on so many occasions during dating, “Yes, you could have this but if you wait, I have so much more to give yo beyond what you can imagine.” For the past year, I’ve been waiting for the right opportunity to use this time. Over that same amount of time, my attention kept being drawn to the Village at NewSong. [Click here for more information about the Village] The purpose of the village is to provide a space to connect families who have a heart for orphaned or vulnerable children.
I decided to follow that continual prompt and attend a planning meeting to find out more about how I could get involved as a single woman (having known for years that I want to adopt internationally in the future). I thought at the very least I could find out information about the process for future reference. For those that know me, you know my skills are organizing, leading, and being a catalyst to set ideas into motion. For the first time, I sat dumbfounded and completely useless in the meeting. I wondered if that meant that I was there by mistake. I uncomfortably stayed through the meeting, feeling misplaced. During the closing prayer, my thoughts drifted (I’ve recently diagnosed myself with “prayer-induced ADD”) to a stream of my own.
I love the freedom of being single, but no matter what stage of life we are in at the time, I think dark thoughts seep in from time to time. These are a few thoughts that ran through my mind at that moment:
First of all, thank you so much for your generous support and donations! Of my personal goal of $765, I’ve raised $640. The team as a whole has surpassed our goal of $4865 so we are set!! We are humbled by your generosity.
As the date draws near to leave (tomorrow!), I reflect on how much “missions” has personally changed my life and that makes me excited for what this trip has in store!
I think the best change has been the many lessons on being transparent and vulnerable to others -- not only to my supporter community, teammates, family, and friends but also to everyone whose paths cross mine. The hardest part, however, is not being vulnerable to others but to myself. In that capacity, I’ve learned how to maintain a more obedient posture and to listen to that quiet voice that seems to come only when on one’s knees--the voice that encourages us to expose what has been so intricately hidden and disguised so that we can connect with others in a way beyond our imagination and sometimes comfort level -- a connection through pain that ultimately creates beauty and activates love.
I’ve learned to use whatever time/phase with which God has entrusted me. For now, it is a season of singleness. I never imagined to be in this season for so long and there’s a lot I could say but that’d take up too many blog posts. I’m happy I’ve always clung to that voice that has reminded me on so many occasions during dating, “Yes, you could have this but if you wait, I have so much more to give yo beyond what you can imagine.” For the past year, I’ve been waiting for the right opportunity to use this time. Over that same amount of time, my attention kept being drawn to the Village at NewSong. [Click here for more information about the Village] The purpose of the village is to provide a space to connect families who have a heart for orphaned or vulnerable children.
I decided to follow that continual prompt and attend a planning meeting to find out more about how I could get involved as a single woman (having known for years that I want to adopt internationally in the future). I thought at the very least I could find out information about the process for future reference. For those that know me, you know my skills are organizing, leading, and being a catalyst to set ideas into motion. For the first time, I sat dumbfounded and completely useless in the meeting. I wondered if that meant that I was there by mistake. I uncomfortably stayed through the meeting, feeling misplaced. During the closing prayer, my thoughts drifted (I’ve recently diagnosed myself with “prayer-induced ADD”) to a stream of my own.
I love the freedom of being single, but no matter what stage of life we are in at the time, I think dark thoughts seep in from time to time. These are a few thoughts that ran through my mind at that moment:
I’ve been so patient with waiting for the “right” men and do my best to serve others, how come so many other women who settle and/or who are selfish have beautiful families and seem to have everything?
Why doesn’t the right person pick me--am I getting too old?
Once again, passed over for the “cuter more outgoing one” or “the one that puts on a better show”As these thoughts grew and circled through my mind, I clearly felt God say, “Danielle, you ARE in the exact place I want you to be even though you can’t see it right now. These thoughts that you have circling and the pain they induce are what brought you here. These words (lies) and pain are felt by thousands of orphaned children every day as they also watch and wait. The pain in wait bind your hearts.” The strength and clarity of that message moved me to tears.
As I said, I love being single but with every “season” there is pain that is meant to bring awareness and spring love into action.
With what season has God entrusted you?
How will you use your pain and experiences?
Thanks for sharing your beautiful thoughts Danielle! You Are exactly where you supposed to be with our team!
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